NZ Police: Men are suffering from domestic abuse, but embarrassment will usually stop them coming forward until it is extreme

Opioidus · 2013-07-09T11:51:26+00:00

What are men going to get if they come forward? Support? Shelters? Mental and physical therapy? Custody of their children? or blame, shame and ridicule? Abusive women know this, and use it to their best interest.

Sasha_ · 2013-07-09T11:27:37+00:00

I'll concede it's quite possible that men are embarrassed to admit to being targets of domestic abuse, and that this results in a low reporting rate.

However I would suggest that a more significant issue lies not with men themselves, but in the way our culture portrays domestic abuse through the accepted feminist patriarchal political narrative.

Last week on BBC Radio Four, two feminists strained to deny that there was any such thing as a 'male victim', going so far as to say that men presenting as victims of DA/DV were invariably abusers. In Australia 'academics' such as Michael Flood claim that any attempt to raise awareness of female-perpetrated domestic abuse, 'harms women' and must be stopped. This was backed up by the SPLC's 'intelligence' report. Feminists consistently diminish and deny the statistics on male victims of domestic abuse, recently going so far in Canada as to falsely claim that they are in fact 'women'.

This is a much bigger problem than men's embarrassment.

Tomdowney · 2013-07-09T14:52:27+00:00

Abused Men are met with disbilief, jokes, and get told to man up. Why bother reporting it when nobody will beleive you?

2013-07-09T14:12:07+00:00

One of my first relationships when I was 18. She would occasionally kick me in the balls. She said it was funny and she didn't mean it and she didn't know it hurt so much.

I look back at it and it is kind of strange. There was no one around, no resource to tell me, 'Dude getting kicked in the balls by your girlfriend is NOT funny. It is mean and abusive.'. No literature. Not even friends. The social climate was kind of on her side.

At some point towards the end of the relationship I got all pissed off about God knows what. I never hit her or pushed her. But I was probably pacing and yelling and cursing.
She told me my behavior scared her and her friends thought maybe she shouldn't see me cause of it.

What is really fucked up is I don't think much has changed with society. I have changed. I have matured. I am married now, but back when I was dating I would have put up with someone kicking me in the balls not at all. I had zero problems kicking people to the curb. But that was self realization and self confidence talking.

I still don't see any literature telling men that there are standards about how they should get treated. I would like to see posters and flyers telling men that it is all right to tell her to go away if she kicks you or berates you. That would be a good thing.

KinArt · 2013-07-09T18:38:56+00:00

This is also true of mental illnesses. They suspect the numbers for male depression are much higher than are recorded because men are generally discouraged from seeking help. ):

2013-07-09T20:48:05+00:00

From the "no shit, Sherlock" files...

Seriously, when is something properly productive going to take place that actually helps men with escaping DV?

Ding_batman · 2013-07-10T03:57:16+00:00

This is good. There need to be more articles like this. It is important for people to copy links to articles like this and pull them out the next time a feminist claims male dv victims don't really exists or that female on male dv isn't that bad or it only affects a few men or whatever.

They won't read them of course since their world view is based on ideology, not facts, but maybe a 3rd party will read it, and it might make them think.

CosmicKeys · 2013-07-10T07:51:17+00:00

This is a great article, but very sad to hear. Domestic violence is an issue in NZ, and ignoring men until they explode isn't good for anyone. I don't understand why feminists don't see this, I don't understand why they don't want to ignore these problems as if that will help women.

2013-07-11T21:45:43+00:00

Anyone who doesn't just grab up his stuff and leave, in response to domestic violence, be they male or female is being pretty fucking stupid.

These days, you can get a life-logger too..

2013-07-09T16:53:40+00:00

This is a fact.

Title	NZ Police: Men are suffering from domestic abuse, but embarrassment will usually stop them coming forward until it is extreme
Author	Subversive
Upvotes	195
Comments	21
Date	July 9, 2013 9:39 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1hxcgm/nz_police_men_are_suffering_from_domestic_abuse/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/nz-police-men-are-suffering-from-domestic-abuse.1169190 https://theredarchive.com/post/1169190

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