Discussion of the term "patriarchy".

Hi, MensRights. I'm a seasoned lurker on reddit, but this is a common misconception I've noticed in this sub and would like to discuss.

The term 'patriarchy' describes a society where power is primarily held by adult men. However, there are some important implications of this definition. Patriarchy is an 'ideal' (for lack of a better word). It boxes men and women in to very defined roles. Men are bread winners, dominant, aggressive, responsible for sexually pleasing their women. Women belong in the kitchen and shouldn't have interests beyond children, blah blah. We all know the stereotypes. Therefor, most of the discrimination men may experience is a result of this patriarchal idea.

For example, men have a more difficult time obtaining custody. Why? Because of the patriarchal idea that raising children is women's work and men shouldn't have an interest in that. Another example is that it is an all too common belief that men cannot be the victims of rape. Again, this is due to a patriarchal ideal. According to this, women are weak and are not capable of committing this crime. Yet another example is that men are very restricted in their ability to express themselves. Men aren't supposed to wear make-up or dress in certain ways. Men shouldn't cry. Men have be sex-crazed and violent in order to prove their masculinity. Again, a patriarchal idea is responsible. I could go on, but I'm sure you get the idea and you can think up more yourself. To sum this up, I would like to clarify that patriarchy is just as harmful for men as for women. But what makes it difficult to take the legitimate issue of men's rights seriously for a lot of people is the sad fact that a good deal of men's rights advocates believe that they are persecuted because of this completely non-existent matriarchy.

The negative experiences that men experience is usually the result of patriarchal ideals, not because women are somehow secretly holding all the power. It is in your interest to be just as invested in ending patriarchy as feminists are. Its upsetting and frustrating that so many men's rights subscribers are convinced that women fighting for their fair treatment is somehow the antithesis of men's rights.
I'm very interested in fair treatment for everyone, and I have a particular interest in promoting fairness in custody battles. My dad completely derailed his career to raise me and yet did not receive any form of custody and was dependent on my mom's good will to see me. And this is partially the reason I would like men's rights to be taken more seriously. But if this is ever going to happen, blanket generalizing about feminism has got to stop.