Rape is rape, no matter who is the victim. That should be more easily understood among victim's advocates than it is.

P_L_U_R_E · 2013-06-05T15:47:31+00:00

Because they are trained from early childhood to "tough everything out," men are more likely to internalize their emotional responses to being raped. Having always been told they are not permitted to acknowledge and seek relief from the experience of vulnerability, self-doubt, hurt, anxiety, or fear, they cannot simply flip an emotional switch and begin explaining these responses to others. Having been trained to present themselves as strong, capable, and confident, they cannot simply reverse that effort and vent their pain. Having been raised to be independent, or self-dependent, they're ill-equipped to seek help in assessing and addressing the emotional fallout one experiences following a rape.

So much this. In counseling male rape and sexual assault victims, I can attest to men's extreme internalized anxiety over the idea that they should be allowed to feel in any way vulnerable, for fear that they will be looked down upon, or less valued. While women can feel the same way, I feel as though it's the fact that women tend to feel that they will have someone to turn to for support while men feel that they need to do it on their own, that can be the most defeating. When you feel like you have nowhere to turn, whether it's for fear of being called "gay" or "weak" or because there are no adequate resources (counselors, support groups, etc.) to help or because you fear people won't believe you or because you're ashamed for any combination of those reasons, that's when you're the most vulnerable, and to top it all off, your brain is screaming at you for even feeling vulnerable. If you've ever seen the eyes of a man breaking down and finally describing his rape/sexual assault for the first time ever, you can quite literally see the battle going on in his brain, the conflicting messages duking it out right there behind his eyes, as he struggles to find the right words to describe what happened within the realm of what he thinks he's supposed to feel or other people want him to feel.

If you've ever seen those eyes, then you've seen raw pain, and shame, and a lot of it. It shouldn't be that way. Rape is rape, and no matter who the victim, they should be treated with as much sympathy, support, and encouragement as anyone else.

Aaaand this is making me depressed so if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go watch kitten videos and email an old friend from a support group and remind him that he's strong and awesome.

moorethanafeeling · 2013-06-05T17:42:37+00:00

I've never seen male rape from this angle before. I can't even imagine how much it would mess with your head to ejaculate during rape. I'm sure you would feel conflicted about every orgasm you have after that. And the lack of choice involved in the pregnancy. Man, I need a hug after reading this.

TheGutterPup · 2013-06-05T17:15:34+00:00

This is the sort of well written, well presented article that will help this movement along. Awesome post, OP.

2013-06-05T14:45:12+00:00

Well-written, calm, and informative. I like it.

vbentley · 2013-06-05T15:58:35+00:00

Loved the "crotch kick" analogy. I'm not sure, however, if certain groups can overcome their de facto contempt to see the logic.

JimHarbis · 2013-06-05T14:47:07+00:00

I'm so sorry. I'm on a mobile app, you see, and the thumbnail was compressed enough to where it appeared to say "with one dick"

Wheels279 · 2013-06-05T19:13:01+00:00

It's about time some attention was brought to this!

PowerWisdomCourage · 2013-06-05T12:26:27+00:00

Awesome blog post.

S-BRO · 2013-06-05T21:15:30+00:00

unless you're unfortunate enough to live in the UK and be raped by a woman as the law states explicitly "penetration by a penis"

CrackpotPatriot · 2013-06-05T22:21:25+00:00

I liked this essay, agree with most and learned a lot. Serious question for OP or others in the know. Can you provide some additional info about a waking auto-ejaculate response. I'm sure I'm not using the correct terminology, but absent being a teen, otherwise psychologically duped into sex, being in a sleep-state arousal, or having an erect penis but not being aroused -ejaculate in a waking state? I'm not talking about trickery of any sort, and the only scenario I can really think of is a man in an exam room who'd understandably really not want an erection but might be having one anyway or a man in psychosis (the body and mind out of sync,) but can a rape scenario be provided where the man would not want to be aroused and yet still have an erection and ejaculate involuntarily. I'm trying to think of someone who might be aroused by S&M but have called a safeword or something. Understanding a scenario would help me be able to agree with this better. Thanks in advance.

baskandpurr · 2013-06-05T18:38:46+00:00

If you didn't want it, you must be gay.

That would justify it somehow? Apparently it's acceptable to force gay men to have sex with women. If the man was gay wouldn't that make it more likely to be rape?

What kind of logic is that anyway? If an animal eats you, you must be a vegetarian.

Title	Rape is rape, no matter who is the victim. That should be more easily understood among victim's advocates than it is.
Author	oneiorosgrip
Upvotes	432
Comments	34
Date	June 5, 2013 11:21 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1fpqst/rape_is_rape_no_matter_who_is_the_victim_that/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/rape-is-rape-no-matter-who-is-the-victim-that.1172062 https://theredarchive.com/post/1172062

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