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Child taken from her. All of the sudden family law needs to be fixed

damitdeadagain

September 27, 2017
50 upvotes
/r/MensRights
https://www.reddit.com/r/SandersForPresident/comments/72si1e/my_son_was_legally_stolen_from_me_i_decided_to
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Post Information
Title Child taken from her. All of the sudden family law needs to be fixed
Author

damitdeadagain

Upvotes 50
Comments 50
Date September 27, 2017 9:54 PM UTC
(8 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/72vn0n/child_taken_from_her_all_of_the_sudden_family_law/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/child-taken-from-her-all-of-the-sudden-family-law.1175226
https://theredarchive.com/post/1175226
Top posts by damitdeadagain

Ex threatening with police

10 upvotes
April 18, 2016
/r/MensRights

Comments

[–]damitdeadagain[S] 17 points18 points19 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Thread locked after lots of guys post their stories of mistreatment by family courts.

[–]factsenrageyou 7 points8 points9 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Well what a shock! Man haters silence men's genuine grievances. /s

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Asked a hard question "OH EM GEE TROLLS!"

[–]ThoughtsYouNever 4 points5 points6 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Sounds like the biggest problem in society is an overall, crossgendered lack of empathy and a total, ironclad resolve to fuck over the human population with hurt and hate.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

This. Many people will hurt others in any way they can, regardless of gender.

[–]trygold 4 points5 points6 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

"Since my then-husband was a criminal defense attorney by trade, I left the legal papers to him. What I didn’t know was that for the intended parent to have any legal rights to a child, certain papers must be filed by certain deadlines. But, my then-husband didn’t file any of those papers for my parental rights. So even though my name was on the birth certificate of my child, I wasn’t his parent in the eyes of the law."

The fact that men have such a hard time getting custady is a huge issue.

This guy is no champion of the cause he is a dishonest lawyer abusing his knowledge of the system. I will use the what if the genders were reversed comment. We would be up in arms over this injustice.

[–]existentialhack 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

The child wasn't biologically hers and she only had him for 2 frickin' months. I don't know why this is even an issue. I'm presuming the Father was the sperm donor, right? So I don't see what "signing papers" would have done. If you have no biological connection to the child, you have no rights, generally.

Reverse the genders? What, a guy spends the first 2 months with a child that isn't his and then has it taken away? I wouldn't care either.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Notice how she is not answering questions which are like "This happens more often to dads. Do you plan to change that too?....."

And god damn! So many removed comments!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

If women suffered a tiny fraction of what men suffer in the family courts the whole operation would be shut down.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 8 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

So whatever shitty things are happening to men right now, need to happen to women too, for society to take it seriously? Is that right?

[–]mymraccount_ac 8 points9 points10 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Even in this case, worse things happen to men. She wasn't the biological, genetic or 'default' mother. He was birthed by another woman, using her eggs not the OP's, and she spent next to no time with the baby. She isn't his mother in any sense. She would have only been his mother on some privileged legal bullshit that needs striking from the statutes.

Men lose custody even when they are biological fathers that are stay at home primary carers.

On an unrelated note, I absolutely love the fact that most questions completely ignored her bullshit sob story and dived straight into important political questions.

[–]RunawayGrain 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

On an unrelated note, I absolutely love the fact that most questions completely ignored her bullshit sob story and dived straight into important political questions.

And there's a mod stickied post about how horrible everyone is being.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Seems to be the case.

[–]lasciate 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Unfortunately yes.

Unless you're a feminist, in which case you take it a step further and push for protections exclusively for women.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 8 years ago (53 children) | Copy Link

So....what's the problem? Sounds like she did get royally screwed by her husband, and she's right; sounds like that needed legal redress in the law.

Am I missing something?

[–]PillTheRed 22 points23 points24 points 8 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, the part where dads came and asked if she would fight the same injustices they have seen and it got locked.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link

Ah. I didn't dig into the comments. Did she respond to any of them?

[–]PillTheRed 6 points7 points8 points 8 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link

Doesn't look like it.

[–]Arby01 3 points4 points5 points 8 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

She responded to at least one comment saying the short answer was 'yes, all children deserve to have both parent's in their lives'

[–]PillTheRed 6 points7 points8 points 8 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

That's womanesse for don't ask about the details because you won't like it. That's why there is a short answer, and not the long answer. Which would surely be along the lines of the same feminist garbage. Men don't need help because they already have power. Nevermind that this issue almost exclusively effects men.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

She said yes. What other answer did you want from her?

[–]PillTheRed 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

She said the short answer was yes. I want to know the long answer before I make up my mind on her.

[–]Arby01 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I agree with your statement. She did answer tho'.

[–]asillyduck_ 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Not really its a none answer. Just enough so that people can placate themselves 'she did answer', and thus give them permission to carry on with the agenda of destroying families and by extension both society and the economies of those societies.

[–]existentialhack 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Isn't that a "Trump answer"?

"I condemn violence on all sides".

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

Then I guess I still don't see what the problem is.

She got dealt a shitty hand and a real injustice was done to her and the child.

[–]PillTheRed 6 points7 points8 points 8 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

And no one cares until it happens to a rich woman. That's why you are seeing it here. It is crazy that this makes the news, when good dad's have dealt with it for decades now. Happens to a woman, now it's a problem that needs fixing. She wouldn't even address any men on the thread and straight up ignored them. It's a problem when the only time family court issues get taken seriously is when it happens to a female. Again, that is wrong, and shows why it is being posted here.

[–]girlwriteswhat 7 points8 points9 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

It's a problem when the only time family court issues get taken seriously is when it happens to a female.

Especially since when these things do happen, often the system is motivated to limit men's ability to do such things by putting constraints on their rights.

If it's only seen as an injustice when men do X to women, even though women do X to men much more frequently, what do we get? We get anti-male policies designed to specifically protect women from men who would do X to them, usually involving erosions of due process protections, with "helping language" in the surrounding policy specifically targeting men. This then makes it easier for other women to do X to more men with the help of the system.

[–]PillTheRed 4 points5 points6 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Do I have the honor of talking to Karen? Just noticed the username.

[–]girlwriteswhat 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Yep

[–]PillTheRed 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Nice. I'm a big fan of yours. Have watched tons of your videos. I was screwed over worse than almost anyone I've ever met in my divorce. I'd be happy to tell you about it if you ever need an example of that sort of thing to talk about. Sadly, I'm sure that you have talked to and seen many, many good dad's that have suffered the same fate, and my story is probably a dime a dozen. I would send it PM, as I don't want personal info on here.

[–]elokr7 points 8 years ago* [recovered] (7 children) | Copy Link

She willingly signed away her rights without reading. Most men don't even get that option.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Men can sign away their rights no problem. Child support isn't included.

[–]existentialhack 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

They can sign away their rights but not their responsibilities.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 8 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

True enough, but it doesn't minimize the injustice she's experienced.

[–]elokr8 points 8 years ago* [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link

She didn't experience injustice. She experienced stupidity.

[–]Tabby_N2 points 8 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, she basically just left her husband to do the paperwork, without taking any of it upon herself. If she had, things would be much different.

[–]girlwriteswhat 4 points5 points6 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I'd want to know which of them filed for divorce. If he did, you can argue that she was duped and screwed over. I can sympathize with her if that's the case, even though the child isn't hers biologically. There are some men out there who are complete douchebags.

If she did, well... who files for divorce a month or two after the birth of a child they went WAY out of their way, and to incredible expense, to have with their husband? She can't even plead postpartum depression.

I'd also want to know how long they were married.

I mean, there's a lot of possibilities here.

He forgot to file the paperwork, and when she sprang the divorce on him he ran off with the kid out of hurt and resentment.

He intentionally didn't file it because he suspected she was going to file for divorce and didn't want to lose his kid. Maybe he was like, "if I do this with her, maybe she'll stay. If she stays, no problem. If she doesn't, I want to cover my ass." And if this was the case and if she did file for divorce, maybe him taking the kid was more a reaction than a plan.

He intentionally didn't file it because he was intending to file for divorce. But if so, why would he do a surrogacy with her in the first place? It would certainly be cheaper and less trouble to divorce her and then do a surrogacy, no? Or does Texas law only allow couples to do that?

This whole thing is just weird.

[–]loloLogic 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

She did, two months after the child was born.

[–]mikesteane 9 points10 points11 points 8 years ago (27 children) | Copy Link

Probably. She arranged a surrogate baby with her husband 11 months before they divorced. (She is tight-lipped about who filed for divorce.) She did not carry the baby and did not provide the egg. She also signed away her rights.

In all probability, she knew divorce was on the cards before going the surrogacy route and was either setting him up for alimony/child support or just using him for a baby before dumping him. He probably worked all of this out and turned the tables on her.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (26 children) | Copy Link

An awful lot of assumptions there. You may be correct, who knows, but on the face of it I don't see where she's wrong to complain about what happen to her and the child.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points 8 years ago (24 children) | Copy Link

She's not the mother of the child. She tried to screw him over and take his child. It was intentional and pnly luck turned the tables

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (23 children) | Copy Link

She tried to screw him over and take his child.

Where are you reading that? Do you have a different source?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (22 children) | Copy Link

She got get child and immediately filed for divorce. She thought she had him on the hook for cold support and immediately went for the kill shot.

With every intention of taking primary custody of the child.

Thay some cold hearted shot right there

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (21 children) | Copy Link

So...no, you don't have an alternative source. In fact, you are merely extrapolating...hell, not even that much. You are story telling.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (20 children) | Copy Link

I'm making certain deductions.

1) As evil as she paints her ex-husband, she never says he files for divorce (not just in that post, but I searched online, and she says things like: found herself in the middle of a divorce). Therefore, the only logical conclusion is that she's gracing over the fact that she filed for divorce.

2) She knew before she filed for divorce that she was going to file for divorce. Considering she filed for divorce less than a year (and exactly 2 months) after the baby was born, it is reasonable to assume she expected to file for divorce when the surrogate was impregnated.

3) She assumed she (like every other mother in the US) would get primary custody. It is a logical expectation.

So, yes, I'm making deductions, but they fit with the information she's given us.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (19 children) | Copy Link

So do about a dozen other stories. We have limited data available, so of course you can make up a narrative which fits your bias. Instead of inventing things to get outraged about, however, I'm focusing on what little data we do have;

1) Husband was in charge of legal paperwork and screwed her over as a result. 2) The legal system didn't offer her relief.

Those two bits of data alone suggest there's a flaw in the laws surrounding her particular legal situation. I can empathize because I've been a victim of the legal system, too.

Ask yourself this question; if this had been a man, would you have been nearly this suspicious of her?

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 8 years ago (18 children) | Copy Link

Husband was in charge of legal paperwork and screwed her over as a result.

She clarifies that he simply missed a deadline in a later comment.

The legal system didn't offer her relief.

The legal system doesn't allow non-parents to take children from parents.

Those two bits of data alone suggest there's a flaw in the laws surrounding her particular legal situation.

Not at all.

Ask yourself this question; if this had been a man, would you have been nearly this suspicious of her?

Actually, yes. I'm a highly suspicious person.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

She has every right to complain, since she was obviously expecting a different outcome.

[–]existentialhack 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

What injustices are you referring to? Surrogate parents have no rights because you cannot sell a baby. What changes to the law are you advocating, exactly?

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