Sexual orientation is not something you choose; but apparently that fact escapes my parents' heads at very select times. My straight brother is dating a bi girl, and I haven't heard so much as a comment from them about it. It seems to them that because she's young, feminine, and currently dating my brother, her bisexuality is not a problem. My mother and father conveniently push to the back of their minds all thoughts of her attraction to the same sex. On the other hand, after I came out as a bisexual man, my parents refused to pay my college tuition. I'm now out of school and working, while my straight brother, who is dating a bi girl, enjoys attending a $15 000 per year private high school. Lately, my parents and I haven't been on speaking terms because of how unfairly they have treated me. They cut me off for something that wasn't even a choice! And yet somehow, they still celebrate holidays with my brother's girlfriend, they eat dinner with her, and they got to know her family; even though her and I have the same sexual orientation. Why do they ignore her sexuality and at the same time condemn mine? Where did this double-standard come from?

I believe the discrepancy comes from feminism... specifically, feminism combined with homophobic ideologies, such as Baptist Christianity. My family members are heavy proponents of both the feminist and Christian narratives. They have structured their lifestyle around these false narratives, which has now led to the loss of me as their son. The feminist beliefs of both my mother and father carry an underlying disrespect for masculinity. As such, any variation of masculinity--especially one, such as homosexuality, that is repudiated in the Bible--is promptly rejected. But it's not just the Bible that promotes hatred of gay and bisexual men; stereotypes also play a major role. Gay men are often caricatured as sexually irresponsible, flamboyant, or even pedophilic people. It seems these stereotypes were accepted by my parents without question, and then applied directly to me... again, without question. I'm no stickler for political correctness, but stereotypes exist for purposes of humor; they are not to be taken literally, or seriously considered when evaluating one's character. That's the protocol you should follow if someone ever comes out to you! You need to forget about stereotypes and give them a hug. Frankly, I'm appalled that my parents weren't able to do that, but it will be nice, years down the road, to know that I don't owe them anything.

Nonetheless, my situation is indicative of a greater societal issue, wherein gay/bi men are assumed to be less masculine or trustworthy than their straight counterparts. Religion and feminism are perhaps two of the worst things ever to happen to the community of gay/bi men. To counter this, we need to be open-minded, logical and objective. It's time to re-examine how we treat our gay/bi brothers. We need to do that if the men's rights movement is to have credibility. I encourage you to ask your gay friends about this, or perhaps even share this post in order to start a dialogue.