Post-divorce life

Triadis3 · 2017-11-13T05:05:39+00:00

Your personality is still telegraphing that you're Billy Beergut Betabux.

You're screwing with women's radar when you won't commit, so they get pissed.

Fix yourself. Why do women drop you in the BB category?

Advice... you're still expecting to find "that one special girl", you're still mired in some blue glue.

You're realizing the "meh" phase. You realize pussy really isn't all that special... = progress.

Enjoy women for what they are. Don't expect too much. They're a hobby. You get to decide how much time and energy you put into your hobbies.

ScottDurden · 2017-11-13T03:44:13+00:00

Fast forward through a nasty $175K, 10 month divorce....We have joint custody, she got about $125K in cash, $800 a month child support, no alimony, and I had to pay $10K of her atty's fees.

Holy fuck, this is a nightmare to read.

GayLubeOil · 2017-11-13T07:00:10+00:00

It sounds like you are looking for a grand meta narrative now that the meta narrative of marriage is over and your getting bored of the post divorced fuck sluts identity. My advice is you should take up fitness seriously as a means of giving meaning to your life.

Putting in 20 pounds of muscle in the next 2.5 years will be more rewarding then Vagina. I guarantee it.

SirKolbath · 2017-11-13T03:45:14+00:00

Your marriage sounds similar to mine. My ex-wife seems to have conveniently forgotten that it was my military basic allowance for housing that paid for the first two houses, and it was equity from that that paid for the house she is living in now that she gets to keep in the divorce.

In return I get to keep my retirement that I paid into for my entire military career. Strangely, her retirement that we both paid into was not anywhere near the chopping block when it came time to divvy up our belongings.

I am not as financially well-off as you are, so I don't have the women trying to lock me down the way you do. Maybe what you need to do is get a beat-up car and dress a little bit less nicely, and make that your persona when you meet a Tinder Belle for the first time. If she thinks you're the manager of a Wendy's maybe she won't be so quick to start asking for diamond rings.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2017-11-13T05:56:28+00:00

So there's a couple of things going on with you.

First, you need to Kill the Beta.

Second, my guess is that you are dating women near your own age. Fuck that shit. Younger women are (a) younger, (b) don't bitch or make demands as much and (c) are never 'too tired' for fun.

Behold:

Older Men, Younger Women: How & When It Can Work

-For Older Men who prefer Younger Women, and vice versa.

You're welcome.

Rhynovirus · 2017-11-13T07:16:19+00:00

Im 7 months post divorce

Here's what you should do:

GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM WOMEN AND DATING SITES. YOU ARE NOT READY.
See a good therapist, at least bi-weekly, for at least a year.
Lift and focus entirely on yourself. This mean cultivate your hobbies, your non-sexual friendships and your individual experiences.
Learn to love being in your own company and why this is completely different from "being alone"
Come back to this thread after that one year and if the rest of what you wrote up there is worth posting still, repost it. I bet it won't be.

You're just one of the many post divorce beta males who isn't particularly interesting and probably still carrying around your marriage with constant resentment and sagging shoulders.

Fix yourself, then come back here.

stacysmomlovesme · 2017-11-13T08:20:00+00:00

You learned effective sexual strategy BUT you still linger to the blue pill thoughts that a woman completes you.

Women are parasites or if one needs to be kind, adopted children.

It's your mission, not your woman who will make you happy.

zayelion · 2017-11-13T04:59:51+00:00

Similar situation here, but she ran off and got Chad to knock her up after poofing effectively at no cost to me. Just blocked me then called when it was time to sign.

I got a comfy job as she had pridefully stated she was leaving, so after your emotions have settled I recommend the following. Keep em plated as you have them. Be rather honest about that they are "just an option", and you have x options.

Basically play the dread game for FWB. Learn exactly what these women are using you for, or rather charging... pay it if you want the pussy (some are cheap in ratio to your pocket)

Check out the plates topic in the sidebar. You arent alone.

RampageElephant · 2017-11-13T05:45:19+00:00

Not sure what the question is exactly? You want a committed woman? Thats not youre job to make a woman committed. Its her decision. Just keep spinning plates and the one that really appretiates will stick around without you having to make them.

cellphon · 2017-11-13T11:50:30+00:00

Proffesion wise, would you recommend marrying a hair dresser?

Like being a school teacher, hair dresser seems like a decent low key job she can do while not being a ball busting 50 hour a week working career women on the or a stay at home mooch (not really a mooch but a big alimony price in case of a divorce)

Also, my only advice for plate longevity while sticking to low drama is to date exclusively 18-26 age range. Above that and it's commitment city.

MattyAnon · 2017-11-13T13:03:58+00:00

My ex wife is a 6/10 broke ass hairdresser. Im a real estate developer making a solid 6-fig income.

"Behind every great man is a great woman".... this phrase makes me laugh so hard.

. I Have always taken pride in providing nice things for my woman

beta.

Suddenly the kinky shit we did in the bedroom became taboo and disgusting.....she started asking for a joint checking account (i resisted and never did that, thank god).....she started going out once a week with her girl friends.....her family started being cold toward me.....

beta beta beta

We have joint custody, she got about $125K in cash, $800 a month child support, no alimony, and I had to pay $10K of her atty's fees.

It kills me that you have joint custody, and you have to pay her so much for when she has the kids. It's insane how badly fathers are treated in our society.

They all throw pussy at me up front and then after a few weeks of hooking up they get pissed at me for not committing to them. I get the "so what are we" question ad nauseum.

See my sidebar article about handling "the talk".

Fundamentally set it up from the beginning as fuck buddies. You shouldn't need to be overt about this.... see her once a week, don't always arrange a new date (ie a gap where you have no plans), behave as if you're fucking other women and don't hide that you are. Done well you shouldn't need to be overt about it, in my experience women detect this from your absence and non-neediness.

NO PROVIDER BEHAVIOUR.

This means not paying for meals, drinks, treats, presents, bills, anything. No listening to her emotional crap. "Ok, I've heard enough about your ex, tell me about you" should do it. Or be more upfront "I don't want to hear about your other men". Or "Shut up, I don't want to talk about that". Emotional tampon is the same as provider to her emotions.

Be the man she wants, not the man she needs. All her needs should be taken care of by herself and other people, NOT you. Emotional, physical, financial - all of it NOT YOUR PROBLEM. You take care of her sexual needs and that's it.

Married women are no different than hookers. When you are done fucking them, you will pay both of them. The ones that convince you to marry them are essentially professional hookers. They are better at trading pussy for resources.

Yes, and you are their mark. You are a semi reformed beta and they think they can pull you back in.

I think you're still doing provider behaviours, probably because you think you have to pay for pussy.

You don't. They pretend you do (of course they do), but you don't. Stop paying and the pussy won't dry up.

but regarding women, what do I do to make this enjoyable??

No idea what works for you, here's what works for me:

Open long term relationships work great, and I enjoy them hugely. On my terms. Without commitment.

Any "niceness" or anything that they might feel to be "relationshippy" is introduced very slowly. If they can't handle it, it stops. If they can, and are reasonably loyal, they move from FWB towards more like open long term relationship. But they can always move back.

There's no drama, because I won't tolerate that shit. Drama is something that happens behind me as I walk away.

Women know this (or find it out real fast) and don't subject me to their bullshit. A few don't learn, and they .... actually fuck knows what they do, I don't keep in contact.

jm51 · 2017-11-13T13:11:30+00:00

<They all get pissy about it. Some never talk to me again...others pop in every couple weeks to get an oil change.

They get pissy because they feel cheated. Whether you led them up the garden path or they did it to themselves is irrelevant. They feel cheated so they must have been cheated.

imo you need to let it be known asap that you don't do commitment. It's honest and it will filter out a lot of husband hunters. Some will hope they can change your mind but hey, you did warn them at the start.

Rian_Stone · 2017-11-13T14:00:31+00:00

Would suggest Practical Female Psychology, so you can see some info on signalling and archetypes that can help you on that front.

as for the long term goals, welcome to self-actualization. This is where there's very little written, most who get it move on.

nastynickdr · 2017-11-13T14:27:56+00:00

Once I started making good money, her expectations changed. Bigger house, nicer car, vacations, purses, spending money, etc. I Have always taken pride in providing nice things for my woman, so she didnt really have to twist my arm for these things. This is where things went south...

She had you in BB category from the beggining, but you only see the real version of her when she has the ring on her finger and has popped your kids.

The constant is this. Women use pussy as a commodity. Married women are no different than hookers. When you are done fucking them, you will pay both of them. The ones that convince you to marry them are essentially professional hookers. They are better at trading pussy for resources.

You are right. Women use pussy to get what they want, whether its validation, attention, money, fun, beta bucks, or whatever.

What do I do now? Running through Tinder hoes is getting boring. I have hobbies and a career and some good buddies....but regarding women, what do I do to make this enjoyable??

Well its really up to you. What do you want? You can keep spinning tinder sluts, or screen for quality women (hint: they are not slutting around on tinder) and maybe commit without living together/getting married (even though i see no point, since you were already married and already have kids).

IMO your priorities should include being the best father possible for your kid(s) showing what a high value masculine man who has his shit together looks like, improve profissionally / socially / phisically / mentally, invest your money / start a business so money wont ever be an issue, develop new friendships, hobbies, always lift, eat healthy and keep yourself in shape. Women should be just a complement of your life, like a hobbie, not BE your life goal.

InformalCriticism · 2017-11-13T15:23:49+00:00

What do I do now?

It sounds like you're doing everything you want to do, but it's just not satisfying. Keep taking your daily dose of red pills until you have a grasp on female nature that comes second nature, and you might be able to hone what it is you find appealing about women, instead of just dumping loads.

I'm a little curious about how you described your support, though. I pay over 600 a month on top of paying for a relatively expensive healthcare plan for just one kid with a significantly smaller salary than what you are describing. Were you able to legally impute your income somehow?

Title	Post-divorce life
Author	Winslow1985
Upvotes	8
Comments	48
Date	November 13, 2017 3:30 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/7ckeyb/postdivorce_life/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/post-divorce-life.118197 https://theredarchive.com/post/118197

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