The Alpha concept

zoemondo · 2021-04-13T20:02:35+00:00

I would argue that the opposite of confidence is insecurity. And being with someone who is really insecure can get exhausting.

UnraisedPlum2 · 2021-04-13T22:08:54+00:00

No, redpillers do *not* want to date/sleep with confident women. They prey on insecure and/or toxic women. The whole mentality results in unfulfilling relationships with both men and women.

As for homosexuality, there is an abundance of homophobes in the community, since they stress "biology" and "evolutionary traits" without realizing that homosexuality has been found in hundreds of animals.

demsweetdoggykisses · 2021-04-13T23:04:51+00:00

Someone linked me here because of my work and life history, and after a thoroughly soul-shattering education what Redpill is, I need to set all that aside for just a moment as someone who has spent years working with animals, particularly wolves in sanctuaries and rehabilitation centers for the last couple decades.

The whole idea of "alphas" in communities is rubbish. I've worked with real goddamn wolves for a large part of my life. I'm not a licensed professor nor do I even have a degree, instead I read a lot and spend a lot of time with wolf tongues in my mouth.

This is important because it's not just in this weird slice of the internet that the "alpha" mystique has taken hold. You see it everywhere, in business seminars and in popular shows and in self-help books.

It was started because over 60 years ago Rudolf Schenkel studied some wolves in a cage and decided that wolves have a natural hierarchy and that mystified so many pre-furries that it became a part of normal vernacular about how we're supposed to be wired as mammals.

He later came out and admitted his findings were totally flawed because the group he was studying was in extreme circumstances and in no way "natural."

In reality, wolves maintain pack cohesion because of LOVE.

That's right, they act like huge families, friends and lovers. They respect the ones they LOVE the most, and the ones who are best at keeping PEACE reap the most reward, the most opportunities to mate, the most affection from their peers.

This is not a pyramid. Different individuals can have different levels of love and respect from their group depending on how they feel, who is doing what, who is trying to make trouble, and so on.

It is indeed complex and can teach us about human behavior, but it's also removed from our dating world, our sexuality, our desires and goals in life. This "alpha" bullshit has to die.

If you kids want to get sex, start learning how to be loved and give love back, not how to be some kind of pretend badass.

DanlexTheKnight · 2021-04-13T22:02:04+00:00

Redpill only applies to straight people as far as I can tell. Queer people have different dynamics that don’t fit in that binary view. And men like confidence in women as long as it isn’t “arrogance” (the perception of what that is varies though). And that applies to both, but since men are expected to be the “lead” then it is more important on their side, or at least many think so. However, I think people in general have a hard time distinguishing between arrogance and confidence, so you end up with many young guys mistaking those.

StatisticsJason · 2021-04-13T23:38:04+00:00

My impression is red pillers overhype confidence. Insecure men seem to do well in the dating market. Often times an excess of outward confidence is compensating for insecurity but the perception is what matters and women can get fooled. Yes men are attracted to confidence too. When a woman has a confident vibe it is often real and not a front like it is so often in men.

niceguycoach · 2021-04-16T14:42:32+00:00

The definition of confidence you're subscribing to matters here. Ask a group of people how you define it and you'll get a bunch of different answers. Furthermore, people can be confident in one situation or context and not in another. So confidence is far too broad and subjective to use as a criterion for attractiveness EVEN THOUGH most people would say In general, people like confident people. Shy people can be attractive, for example.

My working definition of confidence is different from most people's:

Confidence is your willingness to accept your (negative) emotional reaction to the choices you make. If you're wiling to take a social risk and handle the disappointment of not getting the outcome you want, then you are confident. Confidence by this definition is another form of detachment to outcome. If you're good at not being attached (emotionally) to the outcome, then you are more confident. You then trust yourself to handle and recover from any situation.

Will that make you more attractive? Probably, yes, but not to everyone.

DanlexTheKnight · 2021-04-13T19:11:23+00:00

Aren't men attracted to confidence in women too?

I don't care either way there.

cvntcvntcvnt · 2021-04-13T23:00:10+00:00

You're correct that everyone likes confidence. The issue is that there's the fundamental belief in RP men that whatever a confident man is, it is not themselves.

Women hold the keys to worth and happiness, AND they're gonna give attention to anyone but them.

The result is a super confusing conception of the world. So then they see other men and try to understand "what has this guy get girls?" Because of the previous confusion, this finding is seen as enlightening. Doesn't change anything though, just gives them a way to hold onto their anger (after all, they're never going to be confident!)

More theory:

Another result is a paradoxical relationship between RP men and both men and women. RP men see women as bitches and whores, but also nurturers and lovers (i.e. their mother), and they see other men as assholes who keep them down, but also guides and teachers (i.e. their father).

Very confusing world to inhabit for a RP man. And conflicting. Love and hate are mixed together. The only way to resolve these conflicts is by leading double lives themselves. In the real world, they're solitary nice guy door mats who hate themselves. On the internet, they're hateful and angry hive minds who criticize others and see themselves as superior.

TheseNthose · 2021-04-14T22:35:05+00:00

Why do redpillers make it seem like confidence and competence are traits only women are attracted to in men?

I'm guessing it's because it's higher on the depth chart. Someone funny, smart but doesnt believe in themselves and is a mope or a drag to be around?

Aren't men attracted to confidence in women too?

yes

And what about homosexual couples? Do redpillers ever take lesbians into account when they touch upon this subject?

Lesbians aren't their audience and neither are gay men. They're audience is men who have trouble with women...

Title	The Alpha concept
Author	Passion211089
Upvotes	17
Comments	31
Date	April 13, 2021 4:22 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/mq5p7g/the_alpha_concept/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/the-alpha-concept.1188558 https://theredarchive.com/post/1188558

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