Do you lose attraction/love after awhile in marriage?

KombuchaEnema · 2021-03-17T23:32:55+00:00

I can only say from my own personal experience. I’ve been with my fiancé for five years and sometimes the attraction is overwhelming and sometimes it’s underwhelming. I think that’s normal. Attraction is not always this massive burning fire that makes you want to write love poems.

I think when men describe “monkey branching” it’s often happening when a woman (a) was never really attracted to him but saw him as a stable husband or (b) when the couple is experiencing a particularly bad bump in the road and she decides to cheat rather than stay and work through the problem.

I’ve had days where I never thought I could be attracted to my fiancé again (usually after a fight, which we had many when we were young and still very immature) and then a month later I would be so attracted to him it wasn’t even funny. I’ve noticed there are also times during my menstrual cycle when I’m not attracted to anyone.

So overall I don’t think attraction is something that’s permanently lost in 100% of cases. Also, you do have to take my opinion with a grain of salt since I have had only a 5-year relationship.

cast-away-ramadi06 · 2021-03-17T22:23:36+00:00

Infatuation is short lived -- it can last for a few years. It doesn't take time to form. Love on the other hand lasts forever. It takes time to form. You can never fall out of true love. You can only fall out of infatuation.

Read up more on the differences and see which applies to your relationship.

Kind_Entertainment_6 · 2021-03-18T01:18:52+00:00

Women do not lose attraction, they lose respect. Women lose respect and monkey branch and once your woman has lost respect for you, she is gone forever.

Respect can be seen as how highly you value yourself, and when you let someone else disrespect you, or you don’t respect yourself, how can you then lead a household. Women want providers and protectors, if you cannot lead, we lose “attraction” and monkey branch to someone who can lead - ( or who we think can lead) unfortunately. It’s like this in the animal kingdom as well but within animals it’s more widely accepted.

Now I don’t want you to confuse respect for overbearing, or sexual dominance, or any of that stuff. Respect is a mindset, and presented in how you walk, talk, engage. My husband is the sweetest man alive, he is so kind, loving, gentle. But there is no doubt about it, he commands respect. Even when he’s talking to me, and I get excited sometimes and talk over him, he goes “my name let me finish now”. Just subtle ways he is commanding respect. And I listen

teaandtalk · 2021-03-18T06:54:44+00:00

New relationships are a heady cocktail of excitement, longing, hormones, and newness. That does go away. But that's not love, or attraction.

Love builds and grows over time. I love my husband more now than I did at the start - the more I know him, and the more we go through together, the more my feelings towards him strengthen. Maybe it's not fireworks, like the headiness of a new love, but it's rich and deep and strong.

Attraction, in my experience, varies. As long as you have had an initial spark, my impression is that it's always there. But it ebbs and flows through life. New babies, changing schedules, maturing bodies - all of these will have an impact. I know that personally, I've gone through higher and lower libido stages in my life. But I've always been careful to put my sexual energy into my marriage - not solo (sometimes is fine but not all the time or at the expense of your partner), not fantasies, definitely not with anyone else. And that's helped keep the attraction alive, in my experience.

mastayuzen · 2021-03-18T10:31:04+00:00

In my honest opinion, I feel like most of our generation are still on cloud nine. My parents are happily married for 33 years now but are they still in love with each other?, no but they still care and look after each other and that's their definition of 'love'. What I'm saying is our definition of 'love' has changed from generations to generations where people from back then consider partnership and companionship as a form of 'love' while most of us these days think what we gone through from the initial stages of the relationship is 'love' and hoping it would continue the same way and if it doesn't then they resort to separation because there's no 'love'.

I must say though that I've also seen old couples being lovey dovey as if they just got into a relationship but all these people actually have a personality pattern that you can decode. There are pros and cons depending on the couples personalities and compatibilities.

anothergoodbook · 2021-03-18T12:43:03+00:00

I’ve been married nearly 15 years. I am still insanely attracted to my husband. It is something to work on. The little things matter (even as much as just being kind in your daily interactions). We’ve had our ups and downs. It happens - we’ve had babies and work stress and money stress... and it takes a lot of intention.

IcarusKiki · 2021-03-19T22:35:53+00:00

The honeymoon phase ends after a bit but in a good relationship love and passion will remain. My advice is to look for a man you can be friends with and respect even after the initial tingles are gone. Don’t go looking for a stable prospect just because he’s stable because that’s just asking for an unhappy marriage

Title	Do you lose attraction/love after awhile in marriage?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	21
Comments	13
Date	March 17, 2021 10:09 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/m7c2my/do_you_lose_attractionlove_after_awhile_in/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/do-you-lose-attractionlove-after-awhile-in.1190970 https://theredarchive.com/post/1190970

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