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[–]cantsextihavebillsFDS Newbie[🍰] 19 points20 points21 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think it's a really personal choice. On one hand yeah, get your bag if it's there for the taking. Zero damage to you, little to no damage to the man.
The other side of the coin is that you'll start to view people as disposable- a means to an end.
As tempting as it is to capitalize on your ability to "get" things from people it puts you in the possession of selling yourself. Essentially objectifying yourself. You are the product- your time, your energy, your attention. You'd need to be incredibly self aware and introspective in order to come out of arrangements like that mentally unscathed. And you'll be judged for it. I don't agree with those judgements, but we all know they're there.
Personally I say leave well enough alone. When I was younger I thought I had all the time in the world and wasted a lot of it on situations like this. The things I got then are gone now. Every moment you spend on some man that's not worth your time is a moment you're taking away from yourself.
[–]miasmicivyphsycFDS Newbie 29 points30 points31 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It’s ridiculous the lengths people will go to infantilize men. You know the boys will be boys talk. Which has been used to justify everything especially rape. I’ve noticed then it’s an older man with significant financial resources paired with a younger woman, everyone is quick to paint the woman as an evil gold digging bitch. They never put any blame on the man who is happily exploiting a younger woman and in some cases grooming her to be his emotional sexual punching bag. They never seem to blame society for making sure that men have generational wealth, unprecedented capital, free wage slavery in the form of their wives, and the general expectation that runs on undermining and devaluing the work of women.
Won’t someone think of the gross older balding greedy man? I mean he’s so innocent and naïve, he’s clearly being exploited by the fresh out of college, broke, 20 some thing that comes from a broken home. Because that’s the real tragedy here right?
[–][deleted] 16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'll be honest, this makes me angry.
[–]throwRAwhatisthisFDS Newbie 7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I was watching sheras videos for a while. My therapist suggested that it wasn’t a positive influence and was making me angry and bitter. She told me not to watch her for a while.
But I still question if this is the approach. I’m starting to open my heart to dating again but have already been sorely disappointed. I wonder if this is the only way. Do men even deserve our hearts, our love, our undying kindness and loyalty? Of course not the majority. But I guess do ANY? They act like they are so entitled to it. What can we actually get from men?
[–][deleted] 5 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]miasmicivyphsycFDS Newbie 17 points18 points19 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
1000% you should focus on your career. I really think having kids is just the patriarchy‘s way of sabotaging women. Everyone talks about how important generational wealth is, and yet ignores that most women have to depend on their husbands for money and could not open a bank account in their name. How most women even in the 1980s in the United States could not open a bank account without their husband. We have financially crippled women at every single step of the way and then they wonder why there aren’t enough women CEOs and presidents, it’s because all those things require capital. So for any girl that’s torn between their dream college and their dream man, I say dumped a dream man in a heartbeat and run to your financial future. Because he might be nice to you now, but 20 years later when you’re with cancer or have kids there’s no telling what he can do with the money. Seriously when a woman gets cancer there is a ridiculously high chance that her male partner is going to leave her.
[–]throwRAwhatisthisFDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
See I guess this is my question as well. Cant you focus on your own wealth and financial independence but seek to also gain from a man who will probably cheat on you down the line, or leave you when you’re sick?
[–]miasmicivyphsycFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
In my perspective I would do anything to secure financial freedom. Not exploitation as every InCell claims, financial freedom from men. I don’t care what she did in order to secure that bag as long as she has it she can run with it good for her.
[–]throwRAwhatisthisFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Oh I agree wholeheartedly about financial independence being number one. And yes good for her! I don’t judge her at all, but I hate listening to her sometimes because it feels so acerbic and hopeless. She says men don’t care about anything but looks. Do you think deep down this is true?
[–]miasmicivyphsycFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I don’t think that’s entirely true. There are high-value men out there, the problem is is that we think that most men are good when honestly I don’t think they are. I live in a country where the definition of a good man is the type of man to turn a blind eye to the abuse other men do. As long as he isn’t raping anybody that isn’t his wife then he’s perfect. When the standards are so low for men you really have to wonder if any men are good. Because if we define good By the literal bare minimum the no wonder why women don’t get Justice for anything, no wonder why the world isn’t changing, because even good men benefit from the patriarchy.
[–]throwRAwhatisthisFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That is a very fair point. The standards are so low. I guess that’s why I’m questioning if there really is a “good man”. Yes the “good” men benefit because they don’t have to put any effort, they just have to not do the obviously bad things “bad men” do. It feels as if they have no standards for themselves and in turn have no standards for women beyond the shallow. They don’t self reflect so why would they want anything deeper from women?
[–]luckyshvaraFDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hmm, but why cant I have both?
[–]throwRAwhatisthisFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
But can’t you get your own bag as well as get another one from a guy??
Wouldn’t it be a better strategy to always be financially independent but to also seek getting something in return for all the bullshit?
Not saying I believe sheras ways are right. But I’m questioning if she is since so many men have nothing to offer of worth (emotionally speaking). Or do you think that there’s a chance there will be a real chance at love?
If there’s no chance at real love, wouldn’t it be prudent to get what you can?
[–]purasangriaFDS Disciple 17 points18 points19 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
She's awesome! Her channel is recommended in the FDS Handbook. She emphasizes that a woman does not need to accept attention from "dusties" -- those stingy or broke men that have nothing to offer a woman but are happy to waste a woman's time or demand that she pay for dates or for anything else.
She tells women how to level up and look like they are a more desirable woman to most men. There will always be exceptions, of course. She covers behavior, grooming, strategy, how to get a wealthier man, how to "get the bag," i.e., get a man who will spend on you and give you material things.
While this is useful, one has to remember that FDS emphasizes that women need to get a career so that they are not dependent on a man for material things. This gives us the most important ability: The ability to walk away from any man who does not treat us well or any situation that we dislike and does not benefit us.
[–][deleted] 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]thiswomanthatiknowFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"Getting the bag" is a euphemism for acquiring money by hitching yourself to someone who already has it.
[–]luckyshvara7 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I fully support this. Now I am in great social circles, yet HVM are rare to come by (contrary to some FDSers who say 'find good hobbies and good social circles' and who demonize OLD), they only look like HVM. But I enjoy flirting (with men and women) and I enjoy being courted. Also dating/flirting (without sex or serious emotional commitment - from my side) helps me to have some rest and recharge from my intensive career-building.
To all FDSers who commented 'focus on your career' to your post - I am 100% focused on my career. But it is exhausting, so why not enjoy some flirting and courtship? Why not accepting that bag from someone meanwhile making savings to my investment account? Life is not black and white, I can and want to have both.
Make sure you dont get attached to guys who are not HVM material though. You need strong boundaries for that. Also I recommend books 'Men dont love women like you', and specifically 'Ho Tactics' for this case. Harsh books by same author, but useful strategies. Some advice is not FDS though, so use at your own discretion.
[–]Astral_weaverFDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Becoming financially dependent to an older rich man? No thanks, that's not HV in any way.
We can date affluent people, but the real deal is to be financially independent. Can an affluent suitor help you with their connections to expand your own career? Good. Is he generous with you not only in material terms but also emotionally? Good. Anything else is straight up powerplay and exploitation.
[–]luckyshvaraFDS Newbie -2 points-1 points0 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No one has been talking about becoming financially dependent in this post. Y'all reading?
[–]luckyshvara0 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
One more thing - many FDS women are concerned that this is 'indecent' behaviour for HVW, and are concerned of loosing their 'dignity'.
Firstly, I personally lost my decency while being 'Barbara the builder'. I lost my decency while dating ugly and cheap guys, brainwashed, as many women in modern society, by the idea of 'love conquers all'. I lost my decency when my boss hired male intern who couldnt tell debit from credit into accounting department because they were from same university, but questioned my CV because of non-for-profit internships. Finally, I lost my decency when HVM-looking guys from good universities, families and nice jobs tried to 'plate' me in the end of first date.
Secondly, I think men came up with a concept of 'dignity' to control women. Do you often see decent men? Me neither. How often the concept of dignity is applied to men? If he dates many women, he is a 'ladies' man'. If he has sex with many women, he is a 'player', and 'has a game'. If he marries rich girl, he 'upped his game'. If he marries poor girl, he is a 'breadwinner'. If he has successful career, he is a prize. If he has a simple job, he is a 'simple guy with simple life'.
This list is endless. Now try to phrase the same for women. Anyways, I have no dignity, I lost it to LVM. If I meet a HVM, I will be a HVW for him. But from others I can try to get benefits.
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[–]cantsextihavebillsFDS Newbie[🍰] 19 points20 points21 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]miasmicivyphsycFDS Newbie 29 points30 points31 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 16 points17 points18 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]throwRAwhatisthisFDS Newbie 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]miasmicivyphsycFDS Newbie 17 points18 points19 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]throwRAwhatisthisFDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]miasmicivyphsycFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]throwRAwhatisthisFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]miasmicivyphsycFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]throwRAwhatisthisFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]luckyshvaraFDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]throwRAwhatisthisFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]purasangriaFDS Disciple 17 points18 points19 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]thiswomanthatiknowFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]luckyshvara7 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Astral_weaverFDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]luckyshvaraFDS Newbie -2 points-1 points0 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]luckyshvara0 points [recovered] | Copy Link