Thinking of it

MyNewNormal808 · 2020-04-20T11:04:37+00:00

Tough to give advise without knowing more about the situation. Does she cheats? Just doesn’t excite you anymore? Bored?

I’m always (Unless there is abuse involved) if there is a chance of making it work, sit her down and talk about what you feel Is wrong with the marriage. Discuss how you two might fix it. If she is also wanting out of the marriage Or doesn’t want to fix it then you got your answer (Can’t fix a marriage if only one person is committed to making it work). If she wants to Fix it then go Get help (couples counseling, etc). It still may not work out in the end but at least you gave it a chance.

vector5633 · 2020-04-20T13:58:52+00:00

I agree with the other comments. If you can fix it, fix it!

Otherwise, get out. If you're willing to work on the marriage and yourself then great! But if she's not then call it a wrap and continue to work on a better version of yourself.

Be the greatest dad you can to your kids after it's all done.

NavarreVal · 2020-04-20T15:53:09+00:00

In my opinion, and as a divorced person who is now happily remarried, divorce should not be your first option except in cases of abuse or criminality.

The first step is definitely therapy or some kind of counseling, then go from there. Going the route of divorce means you're most likely going to lose a lot of your money and time with the kids; also means more than likely she'll be the one to end up 'raising' them, so decide if that's what's best for the kids. Based on what you've shared here, I really don't think divorce is your best option at this point, but there could be some missing info that would change that opinion. Therapy is the first step, both individual therapy and marriage counseling.

I'm going to pass judgment here now. Judging purely based on what was posted in your OP, I'm going to say you are probably a big part of the problem in your relationship; I recommend getting that sorted first before blaming her. Why does she need to change? Is the same true of you, but maybe you are unwilling to change? Get it figured out, and I'm going to tell you know, trying to figure it out without a neutral third party is not in your best interest, her best interest, or the best interest of the children.

I truly wish you luck. I know what you're going through now is hard, but I can basically guarantee that divorce is going to be harder. Divorce sucks. Just be absolutely certain it's what's best.

lemmingsrevenge · 2020-04-20T15:17:52+00:00

Don't expect your ex to bear the burden of improving the marriage. It's a two way street.

Title	Thinking of it
Author	ThePerfect1
Upvotes	2
Comments	7
Date	April 20, 2020 10:20 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/g4qa84/thinking_of_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/thinking-of-it.1198957 https://theredarchive.com/post/1198957

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