~ archived since 2018 ~

QUESTION FOR TRANS-MEN & TRANS-WOMEN: What have been your experiences pre- and post-transition as both AMAB/AFAB and men/women?

Strikester101 · 2020-04-01T15:28:41+00:00

Did you and others you know notice any differences in how you were treated and experienced after crossing the gender divide?...

Strikester101

April 1, 2020

16 upvotes

/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates

Download the post

Want to save the post for offline use on your device? Choose one of the download options below:

PDF TXT EPUB

Post Information

Title	QUESTION FOR TRANS-MEN & TRANS-WOMEN: What have been your experiences pre- and post-transition as both AMAB/AFAB and men/women?
Author	Strikester101
Upvotes	16
Comments	15
Date	April 1, 2020 3:28 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/ft1vji/question_for_transmen_transwomen_what_have_been/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/question-for-trans-men-trans-women-what-have-been.1199423 https://theredarchive.com/post/1199423

Comments

[–]SchalaZeal01left-wing male advocate 14 points15 points16 points 6 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]thereslcjg2000left-wing male advocate 8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]SchalaZeal01left-wing male advocate 8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Strikester101[S] 4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]SchalaZeal01left-wing male advocate 10 points11 points12 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]true-east 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]SchalaZeal01left-wing male advocate 6 points7 points8 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

If you wanted to be intimidating maybe. Like Sergeant Instructor Major Payne in the movie of the same name. Even a major ball-crushing woman would need to work twice as hard to intimidate men and women under her.

Though respect is different. You can earn respect in much more productive ways than fear.

Feminists sometime say that men acknowledge other men on the street and respect them, and don't give that respect to women. But it's more that men know not to pick fights with strange men (at least most men who aren't fond of street fighting all the time), and also know that just a look is enough for some (even if most people aren't fans either, so the chances aren't that high on any given stranger you meet, but it can be decently high on every outing you do). Men generally aren't wary of women in the same way, which doesn't mean they'll harass them either.

The men harassing women (catcall) is another dynamic, from being pressured to make the first move, a shotgun approach...and it sometimes working, and well, most men being straight. It's not about men not respecting women.

I bet gay and bi men will make advances sometimes in the same way to men, when they know it won't result in them being beaten up by homophobes (not even their target) just for trying.

If you hate being helped, I guess your pride could take a hit, too. Especially for heavy lifting, or who is carrying the heavy groceries etc. But if you're not particularly prideful about it, or not particularly strong (ie could use the help), its not a problem.

[–]plitox_is_a_bitch 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Feminists sometime say that men acknowledge other men on the street and respect them, and don't give that respect to women. But it's more that men know not to pick fights with strange men (at least most men who aren't fond of street fighting all the time), and also know that just a look is enough for some (even if most people aren't fans either, so the chances aren't that high on any given stranger you meet, but it can be decently high on every outing you do). Men generally aren't wary of women in the same way, which doesn't mean they'll harass them either.

I wonder if it's because women are passive (for whatever reasons) and expect to be treated positively just for...turning up somewhere, whereas men have to act to prove they deserve good treatment. So, to a woman, not being acknowledged just for being somewhere must feel like a personal attack.

And this works both ways - since women seek to affect others by simply turning up and not doing anything, therefore others simply being around them, even if they're not doing anything, can feel threatening. After all, they expect others to react simply to their presence. (Hell hath no fury...)

The men harassing women (catcall) is another dynamic, from being pressured to make the first move, a shotgun approach

Well, considering women's "just wait for something to fall into my lap" approach...yeah.

I've always thought that, post-women's liberation, women failed to keep up there end of the bargain: men would stop grabbing their arses and catcalling, but, in return, women were free to express their desires to their men they're attracted to.

Except this never, if ever happens - mostly because other women are quick to slut-shame, for fear of competition (and being threatened, like I mentioned above).

The male end of the bargain is encoded in law. What was normal dating in the old days is flat-out illegal these days - to the point where it can be legally actioned retroactively (cue all those women who, twenty, thirty years later suddenly decided they didn't want to have slept with that guy in their 20s and reporting him). I'm not, of course, pining for a return to those days.

But even normal social interaction between a man and woman is only deemed appropriate if the woman deems it so, and if, for whatever reason, she finds it inappropriate, even if there's absolutely no harm intended by the man, well...

When you put such constraints like that out - good men will follow them, grudgingly. That leaves only the dicks, and women wonder why they're saddle with them. After all, if the only way a guy can date a woman is by breaking both social custom, and, increasingly, actual law, welp then, guess what sorts of guys women are gonna get.

[–]liltotto 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

(Ik this comment I’m replying to is months old, I was looking up stuff on r/leftwingmaleadvocates and came across this post).

It’s nice to see other MtF male advocates. I’m beginning transition and I have a nagging worry that my men’s rights advocacy has blinded me to whatever struggles women face and that I’m going to be shocked and unprepared for it when I transition.

But I honestly expect things to be easier for me, at least for the most part. Society worships women and treats men like dogs. I’m going to college soon and I already know I’ll get hired quicker as a woman than a man in my chosen field for example.

I feel terrible for the trans men expecting privilege only to learn how poorly men are treated and how no one cares to listen to them when they bring it up. It’s really obvious when you listen to them they were raised to be feminists, and on the other hand I’ve heard a fair amount of pro-masculist sentiments from MtFs. Meanwhile cis women who have never lived a day as a man will act like the experts on how easy life is for men. Actually sickens me.

[–]Oncefa2left-wing male advocate 5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]Threwaway42 4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Strikester101[S] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Threwaway42 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Strikester101[S] 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link