The Rise Of International Dating (And The Opposition To It)

Crosspost "The Rise Of International Dating (And The Opposition To It)" from /r/PurplePillDebate:

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Let’s start with definitions. International dating is divided into 2 practices: sex tourism, and international marriage brokerage. Sex tourism is the practice of traveling to engage in sexual activity, while international marriage brokerage is the practice of foreign matchmaking. Women who are imported for marriage through international marriage brokerage are often called mail order brides. I remember some drama that took place last week where a Singaporean redditor celebrated getting a mail order bride. The thread got brigaded by a feminist sub, which proceeded to react with anger and call him a human trafficker. But here’s the thing: mail order bride is a misnomer used by both the industry and its opponents to refer to any foreign bride. These users rant about how she was probably sold to the OP and thus trafficked, but that’s not how it works. The IMBRA laws (which I’ll get to later) regulate the mail order bride industry in America, and prevent such activity. Another thing to define is “passport men,” which is a rising manosphere community dedicated to foreign dating. That out of the way, I’m gonna look at the rise of foreign dating in Sweden, South Korea, China, and America, and discuss the opposition to it as well as the future of the practice.

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#Sweden

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As many of you already know, Sweden and the Nordic states are the most feminist nations in the world. And we all know what that means: college gender gap. The issue of women being more educated than man spread to rural areas, as a gender disparity emerged caused by women moving to the city while men stayed behind. As you know, such a gender imbalance with abundant young men is nothing good for a society. In fact, a common topic of discussion in feminist circles is how Alaska, due to its abundance of male laborers, has higher rates of sexual violence and kidnappings towards women than any other state. But back to Sweden, how did rural men deal with this? By importing their wives.

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Swedish men began importing wives from Thailand. For native men, the share of binational marriages had increased from 8% in 1991 to 16% in 2008 whereas the same share only increased slightly for native women, from 8% to 9% in the same period. In a ‘migration by marriage’ study, experts at the University of St Andrews found that over a fifteen year period, there was a 44% increase in young women moving to Sweden from mainly poorer nations to marry. The study also found that the poorer the country of birth of the migrant woman, the bigger the age gap between her and her Swedish partner.

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Swedish feminists opposed this for obvious reasons, but they fell into an all-too-common pitfall for those opposing international marriage brokerage. They try to target it from a ‘human trafficking’ angle, only to find out that it’s actually the entirely legal practice of foreign dating. In fact, if you scroll all the way down and read the conclusion for this extensive study about such marriages in Sweden, it proves them wrong in countless ways.

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1. It disproves that the relationships are transactional, or as the study put it: “calculated business contracts.”
2. Cultural differences are a nonissue in these relationships.
3. Most of the relationships were no less equal than Swedish ones, and men surprisingly sought independence in their wives.
4. Moreover, these women from conservative countries don’t necessarily demand hyper masculinity.

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Their initial smear campaign failing, feminists tried to target foreign marriages as a whole. They tried to ban a 2-year deportation rule for immigrants wives, but that ended in failure. They tried to ban sex tourism as a whole, but that also ended in failure. They finally saw a modicum of success when they banned a loophole allowing men to exploit foreign polygamy laws and import harems. Overall, Swedish feminists have managed to promote a stigma portraying passport men as scumbags, and their war against international marriage continues. However, the practice keeps growing.

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#South Korea

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Another post about South Korea. I think you all know the situation. Their fertility rate rests at an abysmal 0.81: the world’s lowest. Here’s what an article said about their sexlessness epidemic.

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“The effect of rising autonomy among young women is particularly visible in dating and family formation. In a 2021 study that surveyed residents of Seoul, only 58% of men in their 20s said they had had sex in the past year, a lower rate than for men in their 60s. The numbers were similar among women in their 20s, but for a different reason. While most celibate men said they didn’t have sex because they couldn’t find a partner, most celibate women said it was because they had no interest in sex.”

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In others worlds, most women are voluntarily celibate amid sexlessness, while most men are involuntarily celibate. So the men chose the natural route: foreign marriage. Although international marriage isn’t a well-researched practice, I can attest as an 18 year old redpiller who’s casually studied the industry for 4-5 years that South Korea has the highest rate of foreign marriage. The number of international marriages in South Korea soared in the 2000s to a peak of over 40,000, or 13.5%, of all marriages in 2005. The figure declined in 2016, but even then: marriages between a South Korean husband and a foreign wife accounted for 65.7% of marriages, significantly higher than those between a foreign husband and a South Korean wife, at 19.4%.

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Just as with Sweden, the biggest factor behind the sharp rise in international marriage was the growing difficulty for rural men in finding a partner, as the overall population of rural areas declined with women moving to be educated. Foreign wives mainly come from developing neighboring Asian nations.

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As I mentioned in my other post, the South Korean government is the most anti-feminist one in the western world. Ergo, since the 1990s, the South Korean government has created policies to encourage Korean men to marry women from overseas. In fact, in order to boost the success rate, the government actively funds bride schools in Vietnam where women learn Korean culture/customs in order to make good wives and integrate. It’s like the “state-mandated gf” meme come to life.

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With how anti-feminist the Korean government is, opposition to the industry is nonexistent in Korea, thus most of it comes from western outlets as usual. The practice had a brief domestic violence problem, but the Korean government implemented regulations against such. Overall, I expect the industry to grow as South Korea’s demographic crisis grows alongside misandrist feminism.

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#China

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Take the American dating market, double the superficiality, replace women’s intense looks standards with career standards, and you have the Chinese dating market. The women have super high wealth requirements for their men. Not to mention, China has a notoriously severe gender disparity with 34.9 million more men than women due to female infanticide. Since “the wall” is a pronounced cultural phenomenon there, most men prefer not to date older women when they get their finances together, and have a hard time competing for younger women. Older unmarried women are called leftover women and the societal shame they receive is generally strong outside of the metropolitan areas. However, as with most sexlessness epidemics, the women are happy to be single while the men are involuntarily celibate.

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Now here’s where foreign marriage kicks in. Foreign marriage wasn’t all that common a practice until a man named Mei Aisi transferred abroad to study in Ukraine, and became a huge internet celebrity by posting about his marriage life. With how competitive Chinese society is, he failed educationally and transferred, and was shocked to discover that he was in a land surrounded with beautiful women. Not only does he live in a 3,000 square meter villa happily married today, but he founded a matchmaking website to help his fellow middle class Chinese men get hitched with beautiful Ukrainian women called 酷爱俱乐部. He did this not only to help his fellow men, but also to combat marriage agency scams.

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After the war in Ukraine broke out, men from all over the world joked about importing beautiful Ukrainian women as brides. This occurred especially in China, where netizens were obsessed with “sheltering” such wives. In fact, one marriage agency reported an average of 5 passport men daily before the war, and 10 customers afterwards. Moreover, This agency has 748 women to 70 Chinese men.

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The Chinese government is overall neutral on the practice as they haven’t passed laws regarding it, but with the Chinese government increasingly silencing feminist activism, you can guess that Chinese passport men shouldn’t expect opposition.

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Just to add, when I googled for Chinese articles about foreign marriage, the first site I found was this blog post. The guy tries to argue that Chinese men should aim for American women as the power imbalance between Chinese men and Ukrainian women is concerning. He proceeded to get mocked in the replies, with men arguing that their own women were too difficult and Slavic women are amazing. There’s even a comment mentioning “MGTOW,” and another mentioning the “game (Yes, the PUA kind).” I foresee the practice growing as manosphere communities grow in China and the nation faces demographic issues from women choosing feminism over men.

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#USA

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I honestly can’t say too much that’s specific to the U.S. Sweden, South Korea, and China have a booming international marriage brokerage industry due to women leaving men on account of feminism. Thus, much of what I’ll say applies to international dating as a whole. But anyway, here we go.

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So after the collapse of the Soviet Union, many matchmaking agencies were established in the Anglosphere and Europe to pair up (generally) wealthy westerners with Eastern European women. There were also similar agencies operating for women from Latin America, and Asia. However, there was an issue of domestic violence on top of mail order brides being murdered. So to the stark opposition of international dating sites, the International Marriage Broker Regulation Act (IMBRA) regulated the industry to prevent abuses, required brokers to find criminal records for male clients, informed mail order brides of their rights, etc. Back in 1997, 80% of such relationships were reported to succeed. In 2012, a study found that around 64.2% of such marriages were a success, which makes international marriages more successful than domestic ones based on divorce stats.

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However, scams overtook the industry as it was harder to find Eastern European brides to sign up. I could make a whole other post about marriage agency scams, but let me explain them briefly.

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The marriage agencies will hire Russian and Ukrainian women to be part-time models. They will then snap hundreds of photos of them, and record some modeling videos. Then, they establish hundreds upon hundreds of Russian dating sites. In order to hide the fact that they use the same women from a pool of some hundred thousand hired models, they distribute the photos in groups of 5-15 to profiles of the same women on each site. They charge men to see photos and videos, and send messages, all while working class men in Eastern Europe are hired to translate messages behind the profiles.

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The men hired to write the messages try to extend the conversation as far as possible to keep western men paying for messages, and create excuses as to why they can’t move off-site. Sometimes, they give fake contact information and addresses, which has led to frustrating stories of men who flew all the way to Eastern Europe only to realize that the address they were given was fraudulent. Some men have begun noticing the same women’s profiles appearing on different sites. Overall, the marriage agency scam is falling apart, and newer agencies are emerging to offer men with catalogues of actual women.

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But how easy is to succeed amid hypergamy? Absurdly easy. It’s not like it’s just third world women and first world men signing up: there are many third world men signing up for international dating sites too. However, they get rejected as third world women only go for stable western men. Although mail order brides are willing to tolerate large age gaps, the industry exaggerates the extent to which they prefer older men.

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Therefore, being:

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1. Western
2. Financially stable

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Puts you at the top 5% of men. Add being younger onto that, and you’re in the top 1%. I see so many men saying they felt some validation opening GRINDR profiles and getting abundant matches. Why stop there? Do another tinder experiment where you change your location to Eastern Europe or Latin America. Just the other month, an Asian-American dude based in D.C. changed his location to Moscow, got swamped in beautiful women, and the women of r/tinder proceeded to gaslight him about how they all wanted his green card. And I’ve gotta say, it’s pretty xenophobic and misogynistic to generalize non-western women as being materialistic gold diggers.

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As the sexlessness rate increases, and women forgo relationships to find comfort in their friends, I think this will become a popular measure alongside immigration to fix the birth rate. People turn to 90-Day Fiancé to prove that the international marriage industry is a failure, but those are reality Tv shows where capitalists choose the most marketable marriages (the toxic ones) to profit off the drama. The mail order bride success rate in 2012 was 64%, while the success rate for such couples on the show ranges from 29% to 58% by the season. I should point out that as the U.S. divorce rate is 50%, some of the seasonal success rates surpass the domestic marriage success rate, and we’re talking about a show that cherry-picks the worst relationships. If we leave reality Tv and go to a neutral setting, you see in this askreddit thread or this askmen thread, you’ll see that many mail order bride relationships work, and there’s far more nuance to it than all the women scamming men for citizenship.

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With feminism indoctrinating women to find happiness alone, and the rise of the manosphere and passport men, I think you’ll see more of such marriages all across the west. Feminists will try to label passport men as scumbags, but getting a catalogue of beautiful foreign women is a much better deal for western and eastern men than dealing with domestic hypergamy.

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Posted by MachiNarci | 13 September 2022 | Link