Does claiming a problem exist become what is perpetuating that problem?

"Boys shouldn't show their emotions" for example, is something I've never personally been told, nor have I heard anyone say to anyone I know personally. Yet, I continually hear "boys are bombarded with the message that it's wrong for them to show their emotions!" And for a while I assumed they were right. Just because it never happened to me doesn't mean it didn't happen on a wide scale. What's more is that in most media the one who chastises a boy for crying is usually portrayed as villainous. Like, I definitely got the message that even though I was a boy, I could cry, too.

What's strange is that it was only over the last few years that i realized how much I had internalized the message that I shouldn't cry because I'm a man. Then I noticed whenever I heard someone say "Stop telling boys not to cry!" I would, almost reflexively, tighten up, like... If you keep telling someone they have a problem when does that become what is creating the problem? Idk I'm rambling but it struck me as odd.