getting over ex and becoming redpilled?

RedSkeller · 2018-01-04T13:32:38+00:00

Cope however you want. Personally I sat with my feelings and a bottle of scotch. I went out with friends and visited people and did my best to get out of the house and my mind off it. Talk to everyone and find that person you were before the relationship. Most importantly, game new women and get a decent plate. Women look for a quick fix, be a man and love the grind.

JerryMullin1978 · 2018-01-04T15:41:28+00:00

From past experience I can tell you by sitting around, you’ll only think about her. I know it’s tough. I’ve been there. The only thing you can control is you. It sounds like you’re already starting to do good things for yourself. Keep it up. You have to build up a social life again. This includes talking to and hanging out with women. If you don’t, you’ll keep thinking about her instead of living your life.

She’s someone else’s problem now. Leonardo DiCaprio used to date Giselle. He dumped her. She married Tom Brady. We might not be able to go and date other models and actresses like Leo, but we sure as hell can date other girls. At the very least, be social with everybody.

By the way, when I find myself reminiscing or thinking about an ex, it’s usually because there’s something I’m not doing in my life. It’s more of a reflection of what’s going on inside of me.

Walkebe · 2018-01-04T16:24:41+00:00

One mistake you are making (unless you are healing from some injury we don't know about) is that you are not lifting. The act of going to the gym and physically exerting yourself will give you a very productive means of channeling your emotions into something productive. And while it may be some time before you are emotionally and mentally ready to get "back into the wild", if you get their physically, you will have a huge leg up when you eventually get your mind to the place it needs to be. In fact, the physical aspect will reinforce the mental aspect. Lift.

The second mistake you are making is that, in my view, you have deluded yourself into thinking you need to "tie up loose ends." Your sporadic contact with her and emotional attachment is what she wants. She's out fucking other dudes, and she wants to delay your progress in case she decides to come back. Each contact will mentally set you back. Women will find all sorts of excuses contact you out of the blue to deliver some forgotten piece of personal property that you left. But their intentions are not all that benign and typically have to do with hamsterring ("Did I make the right choice?") or to leech off the good aspects of what she saw in your relationship, such as validation, friendship, i.e. she wants to make you an orbiter. "Let's be friends" is the angle this usually plays. Do you aspire to be the "bridesgroom" in her wedding? No. Fuck that shit. Have some dignity.

Wrap your affairs up. Be prepared to abandon some personal effects if they are trivial. You should find some close friend or relative that you trust to tie up loose ends on your behalf. Cut her out of your life completely.

You'll need some time, but things will get better. Just lift and cut her out. Those are the two biggest things.

Post script: OP, if you play this right, when you get to the place you need to be, you may look back in hindsight and realize that her dumping you was the best thing that ever happened to you. I didn't have the benefit of knowing the red pill community and its dogma, but by stumbling through lifting, and a general IDGAF attitude I found myself, eight months down the road, juggling three plates plus frequent ONS from day/night game. Good things will happen if you commit yourself to it.

demilitarizdsm · 2018-01-04T13:40:45+00:00

Take a vacation to someplace you haven't been before. When we are out of our element we focus on us, think about staying organized and getting the most out of our time. Then find time to meet some new girls on your trip (so a hike up a mountain all alone won't be an option)

Your mind will not be on her (ex-gf) and you'll get the chance to remember that other girls attention is just as good, if not better. Dante Nero says getting over a bitch is just 5 pussies away but honestly I was with a girl for 4 years, ditched her to go the Ukraine and within a week I was more obsessed with this german girl I seduced. Just do what you got to do to get onto the next girl and it helps. But of course you still need to walk the path of self-improvement and shape your life so your happiness comes from yourself. This just helps take care of that oneitis right now shit.

Edit: Clarify on 'her'

fnordsnord · 2018-01-04T16:42:51+00:00

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amekooky · 2018-01-04T17:43:55+00:00

I thrive on productive routines

right now im doing intermentent fasting, keto and lifting 4+ a week. The days I get off track are the days I have shit days. If i have a shit day I ask myself did accomplish x,y,z routine? if the answer is no, I touch up on those routines and usually things go back to normal.

Break ups stink pre TRP, so ultimately give it time. i also recommend unplugging from social media for a few months. this did wonders for me.

chachaChad · 2018-01-04T13:49:25+00:00

I had a snarky answer all typed out but just deleted it.

Welcome. You've come to the right place.
Your post is a victim puke. It's all victim talk about how the evil wymen have ruined your life and you were helpless to do anything about it. You sounds like a baby.

she took a lot from me and when she left there was just this huge void. forcing me to fit into her future plans

She didn't do shit. You did that. Own it.

It's clear from your post that you just got here and, while you might have read thing or two, you haven't really done very much work. Your post shows that you take almost no responsibly for your own behavior.
Worrying about who, if anyone, she if fucking is just you beating up on you. It's emotions and you can control your emotions. You don't know anything. You're making that up. Stop it. Stop fantasizing about how horrible it is. Get your head back into reality and what is real. LET. IT. GO. You were OK before her and you'll be OK after her. Relationships have a beginning, middle and end. You've just had some fantastic fucking practice to help you improve your next relationships.
How do you get your life back on track? You're here. Start reading and putting things into practice and start lifting. Start putting in real work.

tawoodwa · 2018-01-04T18:10:46+00:00

Hey bud, I have been going through a similar situation, but I’ll frame it a little different for you, at least this is how it was for me. When I first met this girl I was a true alpha, went out a lot, fucked a lot of other girls, and was in pretty good shape. She was attracted to me because of this alphaness, so much so that when we kept fucking for a while with no strings that she brought up the so what are we conversation. That was the beginning of my downfall. Over the course of a year, I abandoned my hobbies, I stopped working out, I honestly stopped being a cool person; I had become a beta faggot whose status was defined by his hot girlfriend who he always spent time with. I was naïve, and the sad thing is she...the one responsible...was the one who became disgusted by it.

This is what I’ve realized since the breakup, it’s not about “how do I stop feeling this way” it’s about “fuck man, I really was fucking up back then, I’m glad I realize that now and can prevent it from ever happening again”. It’s ok to feel sad and miss her sometimes, that’s life, you cared for her and now she’s gone. Those emotions are there to make you stronger, to overcome that sadness you must first realize why it happened in the first place. If you adopt this mindset you will be more at peace with yourself, at least I have. Now go become the man you were/are supposed to be and things will start falling back into place.

Title	getting over ex and becoming redpilled?
Author	gkt3
Upvotes	3
Comments	19
Date	January 4, 2018 1:19 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/7o2wqa/getting_over_ex_and_becoming_redpilled/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/getting-over-ex-and-becoming-redpilled.121344 https://theredarchive.com/post/121344

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