What advice would you give her

SusurrusMysterium · 2023-04-25T00:02:08+00:00

He should go on the camping trip and when he returns, she gets a spa day/trip to visit family/overnight in a local hotel while he watches the baby. Everyone wins. Everyone needs some time to be a human unencumbered by the needs of others. It is good to get away occasionally in order to appreciate what awaits at home. Life is long and she will have many opportunities to 'get away' when needed. 💙

TeacherInfatuation · 2023-04-25T00:13:32+00:00

The fiancé brought it up months ago and from what I understand she didn’t discuss any compromises that make both happy. She should try to speak up next time and come up together with a solution that satisfies both. The situation itself has multiple solutions and it’s not the real problem. The real problem is that she agreed at first and now she has resentment towards the fiancé. Couples should work as a team not as antagonists. In any relationship if something is bothering someone, it should be brought up asap to prevent resentment.

anothergoodbook · 2023-04-25T03:05:13+00:00

My husband very rarely has ever had to go away for work, but anytime he did I went for a massage first.

I would see what compromise could still be made. Like how long is he going and could he shorten it slightly if needed. Neither one perhaps expected what it would be like to parent an 11 week alone for an extended amount of time particularly if she’s a first time mom. The agreement was probably made without taking that into consideration.

If it isn’t an option for him to change things, I would make home as low key as possible. Like eating out for meals, staying in pjs, whatever to just make it until you get a break! And to be sweet to the bf. Really if she were to argue and nag he’s less likely to even want to stay and help her out. Anytime I do that it pushes my husband away. When I’m vulnerable with kindness my husband is much more likely to respond to me with kindness.

PsychoticNurse · 2023-04-25T21:02:29+00:00

I'm going to give an answer that may be unpopular, but I would tell her that he should cancel his camping trip. I would expect my husband to cancel a recreational trip if we had a young child at home. When he told her months ago, he knew at that time they would have a baby, so it's very selfish to still want to go. Recreational trips need to wait when you have young kids, you just can't leave your spouse at home with the baby. He should be there with his wife and child, not with his friends on some trip. He should've actually had the consideration to cancel it himself.

IMO, part of being a provider, protector, real leader man is putting your family first. A camping trip with friends does not come before your family. Sometimes we have to put things on hold, and that's what he needs to do.

Since he's still going, she should book a spa day or have a girls night out, one outing for each day he was gone. He may have a problem with her having an activity too, but if he can do it so can she. He also needs to ensure she has adequate help, he can hire a housekeeper or see what she needs to make her days lighter.

I'm sorry but he sounds like a real selfish man. My husband would not do that and neither would any man I know.

TheBunk_TB · 2023-04-25T22:18:12+00:00

She needs to mention that she should get an outing (spa day). Its called a trade off but he doesnt know because he isnt a mind reader.

Jay794 · 2023-04-26T08:31:44+00:00

11 weeks old? he should totally reschedule the trip

2023-05-01T05:26:52+00:00

No right answer, a day trip is fine IMO. Anything overnight/multi-day is too much and the parent is being selfish. Your family is the main priority and you can’t protect them when you’re gone fucking off. Grow up and stay with them, that’s my belief

Lionsjunkie · 2023-05-29T21:34:52+00:00

So I am a male, my advice first to him Would be not a good idea to do overnights this early from having a kid especially if you don’t live near friends and family.

He should have taken a leadership position and arraigned help. When I leave I pay our babysitter a couple hundred bucks a day to assist my wife with the 3 kids ESPECIALLY if it’s for fun.
Reciprocate: when he gets back he should schedule or give her permission to schedule some self care alone. Massage and mani pedi is my wife’s love language lol

My advice to her is to simply bring up that she would like some assistance and to help schedule help in the future and you are needing some self care and personal time as well. I screwed up like this a lot with #1 now with number 3 at 7 months I’m an old pro at this. It’s so important to schedule your wives time to recover and do self care. Best of luck

Title	What advice would you give her
Author	Specific_Sun67
Upvotes	18
Comments	13
Date	April 24, 2023 11:18 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWives
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/12y0b9b/what_advice_would_you_give_her/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWives/what-advice-would-you-give-her.1216752 https://theredarchive.com/post/1216752

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