For a very long time, I have been dealing with thoughts of inadequacy - the feeling that I am simply not good enough and not able to reach the bar for sexual or romantic relationships. The main driver of this mindset has been my decades-long lack of success with women. My interaction with red pill ideology did not cause these feeling but focused them into a certain direction: towards my height, my body, my looks, my physique, my social status, my job, my income.

Unfortunately, getting over redpill thinking did not really improve my feelings of inadequacy but instead merely reframed them. When people argue against the redpill, they oftentimes argue that redpill thinkers get what women really want wrong. They say that women care less about looks or status and more about personality. I've seen blanket statements like "Women like confident men" or "Women like men with a sense of humour" even on communities like this, frequently from people who otherwise say that women have all kinds of different tastes in terms of looks etc. And statements like that really trigger me because the still emphasize that I am not good enough, just using a different kind of bar.

How do I get over this way of thinking?