I am 11 months post break up. I have done the gym Therapy New friends Hobbies Keeping busy Mindful practice Made multiple positive changes in my life Set goals I have tried almost everything!

Generally I’m doing well, I am strong , I look so much better and physically feel great.

BUT, I still have a incredible amount of hurt. I don’t cry anymore, my hurt quickly turns to anger, rage and hatred. Extreme injustice. I resent my ex beyond words. She stuck a fucking knife into my back, her actions, her words, and her dismissive avoidant behaviour was the furthest thing from good ethics & kindness.

I hate her and I wish her ill. I want her to hurt and I want her to suffer.

There is too much to write, and I don’t want to make this into a novel. I was betrayed, I was breadcrumbed, I was lied to, I was deceived, she ghosted me from her own children after promising me that I can see them and would be updated.

I believe she cheated or monkey branched. I know she lied when we broke up. she wouldn’t even look me in the eye and her apology was the most pathetic, self-involved, selfish joke I have ever heard. She argued like a little kid talking back to their parents.

I don’t know how to get past hating her and feeling resentful.

I have experienced a lot of life, a lot of hurt, I have survived cancer twice, and I am not interested in hearing clichés or quotes or anything regurgitated from a break up coach.

I would truly be grateful if people who have experienced a tremendously excruciatingly bad break up with a dismissive avoidant could please give me their tips, their advice, and any success stories.

My therapist told me that I have betrayal trauma due to what my ex did, and how she did it.