My job got 19x harder because of my hormones

Before i begin i want to say please don’t take anything i say as offensive i just want to express my feelings. I have no one in real life to speak with.

I want to start out by saying tomorrow is going to be very tough at work. I work at a car dealer. There’s this woman there i’ve seen for a while when she worked at another dealer when i would come with my dad. It was since i was younger. Now she works at the job i work at. Im (20m) btw. She looks at least 40. Highly doubt she’s into me. Don’t plan on any pursuits. Anyways, every since before i started this job i’ve liked her and now that she works at the job i like her like 10x more. The thing is i wish i could just ignore and shut down all these feelings but it’s hard.

I come to advice on reddit and subs like this…and get instant banter about what i am doing wrong or who i am is wrong. I don’t see much positives.

Anyways since i’ve worked at the job i haven’t had to be actually working with her. I would just see her from a far and always would look at her and then tell myself a big fat “NO” To put things into context i’ve known of her from going with my dad to get his car fixed…she’s now working at the dealership i work at. I used to only have to work outside but now i have to go where she is and probably will have to interact with her.

I’m scared. Literately today i was sitting in a room on a stool with one of the managers telling me my new position. She had came in and she was looking for something….i said nothing…she said nothing…me and this lady haven’t spoken two words to each other. She gets into looking for keys and papers and then sort of gets in my space (there were papers close to me) (I want to point out that i didn’t read anything into this i just assumed nothings going on.)

But i was sweaty, nervous and very tense that few seconds. I want to get rid of my attraction to her so i can not be so paranoid and anxious at work. Her being so close to me made me REALLY TENSE and nervous and i was so scared i just froze up like a little bitch. I’m curious to know if she already knows…or knew i was tense. Or remembers me.

I have to go back tomorrow and i need help to survive.

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