Lately i’ve been trying my best to come up with a solution for my troubles concerning this. Basically i don’t talk to women anywhere, i don’t have a car so i feel i can’t date them. Less worthy of talking to them in that way. I’ve had a incel/blackpill/red pill ideology but i’ve put that to the side because i know it’s not factual in the slightest. It was easier for me to blame women.

Basically i just wish i didn’t feel this way. The more i tell myself not to think about it the more i do. On top of me actively fighting against the urge to watch p hub. It’s all just bad and i feel i have no one to speak about this too. I would say i hate women or say i’m scared of them. But the truth is i just hate myself. Or so i feel that way. When it comes to women.

Sometimes i ask try to tell myself i don’t like them…or that i’m doing a good thing by leaving them all alone. Most of the time what happens is i see a women that i kinda like i get sort of interested then i have my regular thoughts that tell me i need to shut them down.

Not asking for advice or guidance. This is mainly just something to get some of my feelings out.