When is it the right time to tell a child? If ever …

david10277 · 2023-09-27T03:08:06+00:00

Either you tell your version to your children or.someone else well.

It my not even be your ex wife telling them there version.. so your responsibility as a adult is to tell your truth to your children . The way you explained it here , do the.same with your children

Theres a saying " tell the.truth even if it makes your lips quiver"

NothingIsEverEnough · 2023-09-27T02:50:40+00:00

Focus on the dad responsibility. No one cares who you sleep with in the long run.

It was unfair to your spouse that she found out last. That doesn’t change your father qualities. Embrace those.

Aim for a amicable separation with 50/50 custody.

You tell your kid when the details are sorted out.

upvotersfortruth · 2023-09-27T02:52:47+00:00

I think that what is important is that you tell your child the news together and with the consistent message that you both love him and no one is leaving his life. This is a much bigger thing to you both than it will be to him, most likely. Just keep it kind and get it over with.

If she is pushing you to go deeply into the "whys" with him, then that's a problem. Of course there will be questions, and you can take responsibility, but the whole truth is a can you both should want to kick down the road.

tragicaddiction · 2023-09-27T19:15:54+00:00

you don't talk about your sex life with your children... they dont want to know.

otherwise focus on being a good dad when you are with them, don't talk down about the mom and you can put your child into therapy as well to prep for it all

especially if you guys are having fights already.

Comfortable-Angle660 · 2023-09-27T19:43:38+00:00

I practically disagree with almost every other answer here.

You betrayed your spouse in a vile way, twice. You nuked your vows. You set a terrible example for your son.

Tell him the truth. “Daddy betrayed your mommy in a terrible way. I am so sorry I did this, please forgive me. Because I did this, and hurt Mommy so bad, Mommy and Daddy will live in different houses. I will still be your Dad, and I will always love you. I am sorry this happened.”

If you don’t tell the truth, she will, and it is better it comes from you.

questionoffitness · 2023-09-27T14:21:40+00:00

Something that I feel others have yet to mention is what to say and how to say it. Your son is 9yrs old and not an adult or even a teenager. There are still things he doesn't understand or grasp. Your explanation of things needs to be age appropriate. I would start with basic ideas, like "mom and dad have been arguing for a long time and mom ( or dad) will be living somewhere else." I'm not sure if he's old enough or mature enough to fully grasp the idea of marriage and what that means. Or divorce for that matter. The main thing you need to stress, is that both mom and dad love him very very much, and that will never change. Also he needs to know that this separation has nothing to do with him. He has done nothing wrong.

Title	When is it the right time to tell a child? If ever …
Author	Red-Campaign
Upvotes	4
Comments	14
Date	September 27, 2023 2:36 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/16t8cyo/when_is_it_the_right_time_to_tell_a_child_if_ever/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/when-is-it-the-right-time-to-tell-a-child-if-ever.1233121 https://theredarchive.com/post/1233121

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