It's been three and a half years since I filed. It's been a year since my divorce was signed by a judge.

We're divorced on paper. Yet somehow we're still wrapping up it up. The 401Ks are still outstanding.

We had agreed to a QDRO lawyer in the term sheets. And the "split" of funds is 100% favorable to her. My 401k savings are being split and half going to her. We both have a pension and each are remaining respectively our own.

All she needed to do was contact the QDRO lawyer. And she refused to do that for a year now. She made it more and more difficult to contact her. She closed email addresses. She opened a PO Box and told me it was the only way she'd communicate with me. Snail mail went unanswered. So I sent certified mail to prove my attempts.

I started to settle into the idea that the 401ks would never be split and what that would mean.

Today I finally heard something on it. She finally contacted the QDRO lawyer. A year later. Does this hint at control at all? :)

I'm not going to say it's serious PTSD. You know, it's not shell shock or some haunting memory of a war. But it really did a mind fuck on me. I kind of realized it's just starting over again. It's another round. It's her controlling as much as possible by being as uncooperative as possible.

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