I (41M) filed for divorce from my STBXW (43F) about a week ago. We have one child (11F).

On Labor Day weekend, she kicked me out of the house for two weeks because I spoke up against an emotional affair I felt she was having. She flipped out: we’re talking ALL CAPS texts claiming she’s been a “perfect wife”, and how dare I claim she’s cheating when it was ME that hurt her all these years.

The details of the affair are even more complicated, I might have to explain all that later.

We spent a few weeks trying to negotiate a separation. She didn’t want to do couples counseling (we’d tried a couple of them over the past couple years), or basically anything to even consider the relationship. I told her I felt like all she wanted was a hall pass to pursue this other relationship, and that she just wanted me to stick around as a backup plan.

I interviewed four attorneys, retained one, and filed. She said she wanted to be amicable and cooperative, but when we tried to start negotiating a parenting agreement, she fought me against the idea of 50/50, or 60/40 time.

So I’m staring down the barrel of a contentious divorce that’s probably going to cost us so much that we may drain our savings, retirement accounts, and have to sell the house to pay for it.

But at least I’ll be rid of her at the end.