How did you tell your kids?

Reflog1791 · 2023-11-09T06:22:00+00:00

Once you see how this all plays out you’re going to wish you just gray rocked the shit out of her this entire time. No more divorce counseling with her. Ignore her. Tell your kids whatever you want. Quit caring what she thinks or what she wants. Get a lawyer and find a way to come out of this with a cash flow positive budget, no legal debt, some hope of retiring someday, and the best child custody schedule for you.

From what we read on here the less you engage with your ex the better. If she asks you what you want to do with such and such say you’ll get her an offer in writing and don’t discuss anything about the marriage with her.

Let her tell whatever story she wants. In the grand scheme of things her narrative won’t matter, so don’t let it take your eye off the ball right now.

Deal with the emotions as best you can but quit giving her your time, attention, and brainpower on the sappy heartbreak front. All hands needed on designing your post divorce life. Good luck.

Stitching · 2023-11-09T06:15:51+00:00

For the kids sake yeah, you’re being petty. I felt exactly like you but since then I’ve come to terms with the fact that having a united front is better for the kids because regardless of the truth, they shouldn’t have to deal with the adult situation of having mom and dad not only divorcing but fighting about it. It’s so incredibly hard to do but you need to make it about the divorce and not about blaming each other. The time will come when you’ll have an advantageous situation and you won’t want your stbx blaming you for things either. This is one of those fucked up things that’s totally unfair but that you have to do for the kids’ sake. If you’re fully present and loving and an awesome dad when you’re with them that’s all that matters. Don’t make it uncomfortable for them to be around you because they feel like you’re going to put them in the middle of your adult situation. But go ahead and tell every other adult in the world what a fucking bitch your ex is and all the bullshit she caused you. Just let the kids have their childhood free from that side of things. You’ll thank me later.

edgelordmcswaggins · 2023-11-09T05:29:48+00:00

You’re not being petty but I think you should be the bigger person and go with the mutual decision story. The more harmonious the split is with kids around the better. When they are older they will fill in the gaps and respect you even more for it

DivorceTA1988 · 2023-11-09T10:38:52+00:00

No there is no value in making her the bad guy and she will simply flip the script on you if you do. Think about it this way, the kids already know she mistreats you and are likely wondering why you put up with this. My daughter absolutely knew my wife’s outbursts at me the last year of our marriage were bullshit and she would call her out on it! (Which is not good I know but I’m saying she knew).

When she moved out I was the bigger person and did not verbally blame her. Although again my kids aren’t dumb(10&7) they could tell I was struggling and my wife was not.

Then guess what? Boss babe tried to come crawling back and had the AUDACITY to tell the kids I wouldn’t let her move back in which obviously upset my daughter very much. But I kept my head and explained sometimes things just don’t work out honey and the kids were all “You are happier now Dad”

The kids know, you don’t need to be explicit with details for them to know what’s going on. Be the one that actually gives AF about their needs and they’ll know that too.

Title	How did you tell your kids?
Author	PSwayz_On_A_Horse
Upvotes	8
Comments	6
Date	November 9, 2023 5:15 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/17r5qx1/how_did_you_tell_your_kids/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-did-you-tell-your-kids.1237881 https://theredarchive.com/post/1237881

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