My wife and I have been together for 13.5 years. 5.5 married with No kids. We have been having the same fights for 7 years. We can’t seem to agree on how we treat, hang out with each side of the family. I know this is a toxic way of looking at things - “my” family versus “your” side of the family. We have been keeping score of sorts. I’ve tried really hard to show love and acceptance so that’s my wife emotional bank is high and she will do willingly for “my” family.

Things to understand: her sister married my friend who is a successful but arrogant, even cocky guy who often says under minded things to me. Says I don’t know what I’m talking about about certain things. Often is not paying attention when I’m talking (checking his phone) as opposed to me listening to him when he’s going off on one of his 5 minute monologues. Honestly I think he’s kind of a jerk. Since we spend lots of time together sometimes it puts me in a sour mood. My wife and her sister have noticed. My wife seems to think it’s me that receives things negative or in general it’s a Me problem. She has never ever given me full support and often sides with my BIL.

Other context: I believe I have tried really hard to get along and show love to her sister, SIL, mother, and SIL baby daughter. We all get along fairly well and when BIL is not around. We go to the markets and hang out and I do my best to show hospitality towards them

I am a pretty successful guy myself. No millionaire yet but living a comfortable and blessed life.

My wife on the other I believe does not like my mom at all. I find it a bit disrespectful. Also every time my wife is around my wife she is sometimes ok but often is bored and doesn’t want to be there. I think everyone can pick up on this. My wife has now blown things up and wants me to move out and has prepared divorce papers. We probably not have had kids yet because I feel like that would be the final commitment and honestly I am not sure if I want to have kids with this person. I have always pictured myself as a family man. Things have weighed on us so that our love for each other is now diminished.

Maybe it’s not a “good” reason to divorce compared to others such as cheating etc but I feel family is very important. I think my wife not very emotionally intelligent and often does not perceived as they really are. She is pushing for this divorce now. Any words of hope or encouragement or constructive feedback would be appreciated