How do I (44F) Deflect Our Gift to His (44m) Niece (4F)?

Objective_School_738 · 2023-12-21T12:53:08+00:00

Instead of deflect, you might need to model the desired behavior for her. Have you tried showing her something that your husband bought for you? You could say something along the lines of how thankful you are for xyz gift from him, just like how he got her the bike/nightsuit. It’s hard to change their little minds at that young age, but if already says she wants to be like you when she grows up, she might be willing to copy your gracious behavior.

Also, you could try buying a separate, smaller gift. Like if husband buys the nightsuit, you buy the socks. If husband buys the bike, you buy the helmet or bell, etc. That way he gets credit for the main object.

anothergoodbook · 2023-12-21T11:24:31+00:00

Being 4 there’s not a whole lot you can do in the regard. If she runs over to say thank you to you (with I’m assuming a big hug), then you can just say “oh it wasn’t just me! It was from both of us”.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2023-12-23T21:47:42+00:00

Niece: "I love my new bike!"

You: "Your uncle picked it out especially for you!"

AutoModerator · 2023-12-21T09:55:53+00:00

Title: How do I (44F) Deflect Our Gift to His (44m) Niece (4F)?

Author LiteratureOk7716

Full text: My husband's niece (S) has her 4^th birthday tomorrow. We bought her a bike as she was eyeing mine when they came by last.

Some backstory, when I met S, she said that she loved me right away and told my in-laws that she wanted to be me when she grows up. We speak to them on video call daily (they're on the continent and we're in London) and her affection for me hasn't shown any signs of abating.

My husband visits them every weekend. As mother-in-law wasn't particularly fond of me, I have minimized my visits -- at his insistence, I go with him for everyone's birthdays, except this one, because I have to work at the festive period.

Husband will present the bike to her when he visits as being from both of us, though I know she will think it's primarily from me -- just as she feels the nightsuit hubby bought last time we both went together were from me.

The problem is not that hubby wants the credit - he couldn't care less, but that I want to give credit to the proper person. I've tried to deflect thanks and praise for the thoughtfulness of the gifts onto him, but S still doesn't get it.

Any ideas on how to make her realize that her younger uncle is extremely thoughtful and can serve as a good role model, even without me being there?

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CranberrySoftServe · 2023-12-21T18:13:43+00:00

She's looking for a female role model because she's a female, what's so bad about that? Why try and force the role model to be your husband?

Title	How do I (44F) Deflect Our Gift to His (44m) Niece (4F)?
Author	LiteratureOk7716
Upvotes	5
Comments	8
Date	December 21, 2023 9:55 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/18njhzb/how_do_i_44f_deflect_our_gift_to_his_44m_niece_4f/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-do-i-44f-deflect-our-gift-to-his-44m-niece-4f.1241272 https://theredarchive.com/post/1241272

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