Ok so I hosted a party at my home a few days ago and there’s this girl (typical “good girl”) I’ve been knowing for a while.

Let’s say I’ve been flirting with her casually for some months, and she seemed interested in me.

I’m still a sort of beta I can tell, but let me tell you what happened during the party:

My house has two floors. The party was at the first floor. I took her to the floor where I live. No resistance so far. I take her to the bedroom. We start talking and I kino a lot and try to keep the conversation just about sex. I was a little drunk and I lost the awareness of the time. Fact is, after a while I go for the kiss. No resistance again. So I decide to escalate even further. I start kissing her neck and by slowly going down I try to unzip her pants. Here she starts making resistance, the famous LMR which made me think about “Sex is the never worth the wait” and about genuine interest. After that escalation she left like I offended her in some way. After like 15 minutes we talk again and she says “you are in idiot” and says that I just wanted to fuck her. Then here I had to open myself (Imagine it as a sort of emotional investment) and tried to deal with her hamster by saying things such as “You should be happy that I show my desire to you physically” and after that I “accidentally” told her “I like you because you are feminine. Why do you think I’ve chosen you over those other girls?”.

From theories I’ve read “never show interest” or directly explicit interest. That’s actually what I did. I wasn’t really sober so I couldn’t even think about that.

She seemed really relieved emotionally after what I told her. And even if I am never direct with women (I try to stay vague everytime) opening myself like that honestly hurts me. It’s like I wanna show desire to her but I know that by doing it she’ll (probably) lose interest. (I’ve indeed shown desire to her with kino, and tried to stay away from verbal direct interest showing. But in that moment I thought that telling her what I think about her should have been the ideal thing)

When she was about to leave with her friends I told them “Go. I have to do a thing.” and kissed her again just to see if she would make resistance. No resistance again.

“Sex is never worth the wait.”. This was basically the first ever date with her (but i’ve “known” her for like 4 months) and I escalated really quick in a single date which made her feel “uncomfortable”. I tried to make her open sexually by telling “I really like when women don’t repress their sexual desire” because that is what she was doing basically.

The girl basically controlled me by making me wait. I’ll date her again a second time really soon.

What do you guys think I should do?

I just followed my instincts and tried to stay away from rationalising.

Looking for real advice and not insults please. I’m am aware that I might still be plugged in but I’m 18, give me some time.