Nearly two weeks ago she pulled the rug from under my feet. I have the choice of staying in the UK, go back to the Netherlands or go with friends to Hungary.

I was trying to make a list of options per country, with the UK taking some time because of housing, where to go and waiting lists. STBXW kept pushing I need to make a plan and work for what I want... I told her 4x in two days that I am waiting on the UK side of things, and she pressed again... with me telling her I only have data for two choices, NL or HU, so anyway things go, I need to prep for re-migration to the EU. She did not like that one bit.

For the last 11 years, I have been her carer.. had a 10 dead bedroom situation... her being mentally unstable enough to take everything out on me and trust me, I cooked, cleaned, did laundry for us, helped friends out and still I am told I did not do enough. Time to say goodbye to the few friends I have here, pack the things I love and my tools and land rover parts. My things first, I help her when I have time left. Screw it, I am numb... feel like self harming and I just had enough. So much I sacrificed for her, so much I did for her... for nothing.