Help He yells a lot and slams doors

Jenneapolis · 2024-02-23T19:37:15+00:00

If he’s yelling all the time, I don’t want to excuse his behavior but let’s talk about the examples you shared.

Your questions come off as accusatory and are “on his paper” if you know this term from Laura Doyle yet. You have to let him manage his own things like his own schedule. For example, if you were worried he was going to be late for work, just let him be late for work. It is his problem, not yours, and you don’t need to manage him like a mother.

Furthermore following up by saying “why didn’t you tell me?” comes off as aggressive. I get that you would like to know his schedule, but is it really the end of the world if you don’t? Men react very poorly to feeling controlled and the question you are posing is very controlling - what he hears you saying instead is “you are an idiot and can’t do anything right.”

There’s lots of tactics in empowered wife about how to express your desires in a way that doesn’t feel controlling to your partner, but it sounds like STFU is going to be an extremely useful tool for you.

SurpisedMe · 2024-02-23T20:40:56+00:00

Are you married or have children ? You’re not going to be able to submit to a man who is unreasonable. Red pill relationships only work if both parties are willing to grow together and support each other

DolanDucc69 · 2024-02-28T15:12:40+00:00

the size of the man is based off of the problem that shakes him.

Ok_Handle2589 · 2024-02-28T21:38:28+00:00

Thank you all.

DWrightToTravel · 2024-02-29T13:39:55+00:00

I was younger when I still punched holes in walls and yelled a lot. My wife expressed to me that even though I had never hit her or broke anything in her direction, it still terrified her. I reflected and went to anger management. I usually go a year or two without yelling or breaking something small. Progress.

Separately, from your example, you talk to him like a child, not a leader. A wife described to my wife, “Imagine being an employee and telling the CEO (tiers above you) what to do everyday. You wouldn’t work there long.” If the employee needs something or has concerns, there are channels to address everything but employees don’t tell the CEO to do anything even if there is something to be done. It is requested in the most respectful manner.

Best of luck.

Grand-Connection-234 · 2024-03-03T13:17:03+00:00

Tbh nobody should be shouted at like that 🤷‍♀️

Ok_Handle2589 · 2024-02-29T23:23:37+00:00

Update: Practicing STFU and minding my own paper …

MyDanceOfLife · 2024-03-11T05:09:52+00:00

I hope things are going great now! I have implemented the empowered wife skills and love it! It’s made a huge difference. Just seeing how controlling I am

Second, I’m so sorry he yells. Yelling puts me in fight or flight and I really struggle with it. I shut down and go into defense. I can’t think. That would be really hard. And I’m sorry!

Also, I remember really struggling when my husband was not working by 8 (works from home some days) or leaves late (how work is now flexible but I didn’t always know that).

I would bite my tongue and try to duct tape but if I did say something it really rubbed him the wrong way.

I’m trying so hard to stay on my own paper like Laura Doyle talks about… and it’s easy sometimes and hard at other times, like certain things drive me nuts. And I want to know when he’s going to be home because it is helpful for my day.

Anyway, it sounds like you’re already applying Laura Doyle skills now with your update and I hope you’ll let us know how it’s going now. But I understand where you’re coming from and hope things have improved

Ilikeferns_ · 2024-03-26T23:14:19+00:00

Girl leave him!

pearlsandstilettos · 2024-04-04T18:08:36+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Ok_Handle2589 · 2024-04-20T12:07:30+00:00

Another UPDATE: He yells less but as I find myself applying Laura Doyle more.. I feel less attracted to him … My boss is nice and quiet and I can’t stop thinking about him…. My boss said I made him blush and called me “my love” ( I asked him a question and he said in response.. that’s ok my love). We talk on the phone for about an hour a day and I find myself looking forward to being at work and in his presence). My boss had always spent a lot of time in my office but i never paid him or the time any attention. I am new and felt he wanted to support and now after the comments he made… I am feeling interested in him….. Is this bad? How do I go forward ? Is this just pure frustration and disappointment that is making me turn to another man…..

inhaledpie4 · 2024-02-25T07:01:30+00:00

Hope he figures out that you are asking questions because you love and care for him and are trying to take an active interest in his life. It seems like he might think your questions are coming from an attempt to mother him or discredit him in some way, so he needs to get over that hangup before anything improves. In the meantime try phrasing your questions different and find an opportunity to have an open and honest discussion about this problem. Establishing healthy communication is THE main part of any good relationship

Title	Help He yells a lot and slams doors
Author	Ok_Handle2589
Upvotes	16
Comments	27
Date	February 23, 2024 7:23 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWives
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/1ay9717/help_he_yells_a_lot_and_slams_doors/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWives/help-he-yells-a-lot-and-slams-doors.1246234 https://theredarchive.com/post/1246234

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