Holding her hand is a very important part of kino escalation that can lead to kissing by the end of the night.

This happened on a recent tinder date I went to. She's a cute(8.5) 29 yo and me 30 average looking.

I meet her at a Starbucks (this is was just my meeting point), gave her a hug and a compliment then told her that were not staying there so I took her to a nicer cafe across the street and on the mean time just small talk.

At the cafe saw a table with a long cushioned bench. The table had also a chair across so I guide her to the bench and told her "let me get your bag" (she had a small backpack) and set it on that chair, then proceed to sit right next to her. We talked made her laugh and that small distance between us worked well, so I started physical contact, felt her getting closer so I took this as a positive sign, allowing for silences between tasting our food. I don't even remember the exact convo but she felt very comfortable and at the very end we started comparing hand sizes and the sexual tension was felt. By that stage our knees were touching. I paid the ticket and she told me let's take a walk.

Like 30 meters into our walk I remembered a bar where we could go salsa dancing, so I just said "let's go dancing" and just like that grabbed her by the hand and guided her across the street and walked for several blocks continuing our convo, arrived at the 2nd venue, danced, kept the escalation going, now placing my hand on her thighs when sitting, talking to her very close, talking into her ear so our cheeks were touching.

By the end we went outside, called our Ubers, and while waiting I kissed her, and she told me she had a great time, made out a bit, and by her vibe I could've taken her home, but had to be at the airport at 6 am.

What I take from this date: don't be afraid of taking the lead on physical touch. Light touches on her shoulder and forearms, while keeping good eye contact and maintaining the conversation are a good way to start, but if you're a total noob, fist bumps and high fives are golden, it only gets easier after that, but remember keep the escalation going!

Touch is a part of the flow of conversation so context is always important, never touch a girl just for the sake of touching, that feels uncomfortable AF. Never look at her arm and then go like "lemme touch", keep eye contact always!

And maybe this is repeated often: in order to have good physical escalation, choose the seats at the table or bar of the venue, right next to her. Common mistake is to seat across the table, never let her put her purse on the stool between yours and hers when sitting at the bar. Other mistake is, if guys go to a couch like in a cafe, they seat first at one end and letting her choose where to seat and more than often girls choose the opposite end, so leaving that dreaded awkward space between.

I live in a city with a conservative society, and holding hands and kissing on a first date, is looked at like very high risk, let alone sex. But if we do the right things and make anyone feel comfortable we can always escalate the interaction.