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[–]notthatguy3 10 points11 points12 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lower your defenses, you over think and then think what you want to say has no value, but when you're hanging out with friends you say stupid stuff and laugh and have fun, bring that mentality
[–]adept305 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's important to have a healthy self esteem because if you have nothing to say its probably because you are trying too hard to leave a good impression. Just vibe. Let it be natural. Plus, to be honest, woman want to be listened to, so the less you say the better, but if she talks make sure you are actively listening and not just playing a part. The other thing is being willing to lose her, and being okay with it. Having the ability to walk away from her is key. Be yourself. Be a man. Be the man. Know that the more you self develop, the more girls that match your energy will appear. Don't worry about how she feels. Just do you.
[–]examine8 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
You need to have fun and flirt. Just be cheeky, sometimes it's not what you day but how you say it. Maybe taking some nootropics too?
[–]lookinformyglasses 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Bro just saying it like that wont do anything, its like telling a sad, person dont be sad....
[–]examine8 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Well what you want me to do. Go there and flirt for him? Lol. Are you telling me people cant just be silly and flirty without a step by step?
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Just say silly shit & get in touch with your funny bones .. if you get too boring in convo she’ll lose interest fast but if you can keep her laughing & shit she’ll want to spend more time talking with you ..
[–]DrakeoDaRLR 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You said " if you get too boring in convo she’ll lose interest fast but if you can keep her laughing & shit she’ll want to spend more time talking with you "
and this is why people freeze up because you get this type of pressure. You want everything to go good so 'she would want to spend more time' etc.
[–]doobyscooze 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Anxiety is the lack of action. Take girls off the pedestal they're just people. Talk without a filter. Humor yourself. It's all about self expression.
The energy is what's important. If you can make a girl laugh you can do anything.
[–]CocoBabeNYC 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Stop having an agenda and expecting a certain outcome. Men are like that homeless guy who says "hey nice shirt bro" and you know that the very next thing out of his mouth is to hit you up for money. He was not genuine, he had an agenda and the agenda was to butter you up so you give him money.
Men do exactly the same wjth women, from their demeanor to their compliments to their questions, they all have an agenda behind them and the agenda is "please like me". And as it happens it is extremely unattractive to have an agenda.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
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[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is pretty much it. There’s never going to be a script. You just have to wing it and give it a shot. Some convos will be boring and it’ll stall out. You just have to go with the flow and try to keep talking but have to keep it fun and entertaining.
[–]CanUnusual8729 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I find that any form of exercise prior is a great way to get out of your head. It releases endorphins and sustained physical exertion tends to force you to “wake up” mentally and exist more in the present moment.
[–]Zealousideal6669 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Happened to me with my first approach, was so frustrating I know what to say but my brain just got frozen. So here's what was the gamechanger. You need to understand what that feeling is when you wanna talk to someone, your heart beats faster, you start to sweat and your body is prepared for the worst scenario that physically could happen to you like if she's an MMA fighter and she wanna beat the shit out of you. She probably not but that feeling, that adrenalin is the same feeling you feel when you're excited about something. so if I saw her from a longer distance meanwhile I was preparing I religiously tried to convince myself that I'm not scared, I'm excited. At least I had a few things to say even if I wasn't the best then you got a few numbers, success, and confidence and later on you can crush it
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Practice, practice and practice.
Although it attracts jeers for turning people into "social robots", having an idea of what you're going to talk about BEFORE you get into conversations is pretty critical to make the most of your approaches.
Hey, if it's good enough for martial arts to have you rote learn kata and patterns so that you don't have to think when you are physically attacked, it's good enough to do this verbally so you know what to say without having to think about it much.
Same deal with comedians and actors - you don't just show up and attempt to ad lib.
Not if you want decent results.
[–]peduxe 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I get this with women and men.
Sometimes it’s just that you don’t vibe with certain people.
I’ve met many girls where I’m totally unfiltered, they’re much more open for random ass thoughts and conversations than other girls.
Just gotta accept things for how they are and work on finding topics that you both are interested in.
[–]velvetangelsx 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Just ask questions. Anything works...so long it's not generic "how was your day" crap. By asking questions, you put the effort on them and they feel more invested in you the more they talk....and really, who doesn't like to talk about themselves
[–]burakbenxd 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
There are several things you could do. You need to be creative, and need to learn to improvise, being funny is a plus.
[–]deep2021 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I never had this problem except if teh girl is really boring. I am quiet talkative. It may help to talk to everyone and be friendly
Look her straight into the eyes.
[–]OnceTuna 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It helps to ask her questions that you have an interest in yourself. That way if she asks a related follow up question you can keep the conversation going. But not too much on your end. You need to leave a little for mystery. The goal is to learn about her and if you can even tolerate her in the first place. Don't worry about yourself. That's for her to decide.
It's not a job interview you're relying on to pay the bills. And you shouldn't "need" her either. Think of it more like a shared experience and see what happens.
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[–]notthatguy3 10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]adept305 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]examine8 9 points10 points11 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]lookinformyglasses 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]examine8 -1 points0 points1 point (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]DrakeoDaRLR 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]doobyscooze 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CocoBabeNYC 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CanUnusual8729 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Zealousideal6669 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]peduxe 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]velvetangelsx 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]burakbenxd 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]deep2021 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]OnceTuna 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link