Is this it or does it get better?

Triadis3 · 2018-03-12T02:10:07+00:00

searching for validation

Being comfortable in your own skin is a prerequisite to being comfortable around others.

chazthundergut · 2018-03-12T07:16:07+00:00

It definitely gets better. The struggles you are having are caused, as you suspect, by your relatively low SMV. These battles for the "upper hand" are only happening because you and the girls you are dating are too close in perceived SMV. When you date a girl who is lower than you in SMV, a girl who you know is not as hot as you could be dating, then you have the upper hand by default. You can walk away and find someone hotter than her, and she knows that you are the catch. You will enter into the relationship with the upper hand, and it will be relatively easy to maintain frame.
Women are capable of being extraordinarily loving and affectionate. For example. I'm 30 years old, and the girl I'm seeing is 20. I go to her apartment after work one Friday. She's already got the dinner made (Italian) and the table set. She also prepared a bunch of weed ready to smoke and a DVD she bought for us to "watch together." After dinner and round one, we go to the couch and she starts giving me a foot massage for no reason. Does this sound like a battle to you? If it's a struggle, then leave the relationship. If a chick is not improving your life and pleasing you sexually and emotionally (submitting to you and showering you with affection) then do not waste your time with her. That time would be much better spent in the gym or the library, or talking with other chicks.
There is nothing weird about wanting a girl to be actually into you. In fact, nothing could be more natural for a man. But you've got to put in the work. Everyone wants to be adored by women, but not everyone is willing to do what it takes to get there. Are you working out consistently and lifting heavy? Are you feeding your body clean fuel and avoiding junk? Are you attending to your grooming and hygiene? Are you killing it in your classes and career? Are you decisive and confident? Are you a leader in your own life, and the lives of others? Are you prioritizing yourself? Are you chasing after your mission in life with everything you've got? Are you engaging in active or creative hobbies with passion and mastery? Are you surrounding yourself with men you respect? Are you grounded in your own reality? Are you self-validating and non-needy? Are you masculine? Are you a man?
It is normal to seek validation from others. But as a man, you must extinguish this instinct. You must become self-validating. Women cannot stand any amount of responsibility. And nothing turns a chick off like the feeling that she is responsible for your well-being, that you need her to feel validated, self-worthy, happy, etc. Chicks want to feel you as an unshakable source of masculine energy. They don't want a vampire who sucks validation and energy from them. This is something that you must work on. Show her your desire but never neediness.

Keep improving yourself, keep your edge sharp, and spend your precious time on chicks who actually like you and want to please you. And if there are no chicks who like you and want to please you, then keep working on yourself and raising your value as a man. Starting in the gym.

The-Hardball-Player · 2018-03-12T02:27:32+00:00

There’s always another person on the other side that wants to win too.

It’s a marketplace. Buyers and sellers. Women and men.

The buyers complain about the sellers. The sellers complain about the buyers. Both want things to be easier but only for themselves.

3d_truth · 2018-03-12T03:57:11+00:00

Not giving a fuck is not a battle. It's not an act. It's the true state of living in abundance. Girls won't give a fuck unless you reach this state.

blister333 · 2018-03-12T02:57:38+00:00

It never ends. It sucks

Lucas_Karmahitme · 2018-03-12T04:42:09+00:00

Show them that you don't give a fuck about whether they leave you or stay with you and make them feel like an option out of many.

And enjoy watching them beg for commitment.

That's what i did with 2 ex-gfs and i had to dump them because they were way too needy and i wasn't into them anymore.

Play the game or get played.

katerzgonkate · 2018-03-12T07:00:32+00:00

Wow that sounds terrible. Sounds like what there needs to be more giving a fuck not less

Title	Is this it or does it get better?
Author	BecomingChad
Upvotes	26
Comments	31
Date	March 12, 2018 1:58 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/83riop/is_this_it_or_does_it_get_better/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/is-this-it-or-does-it-get-better.125558 https://theredarchive.com/post/125558

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