~ archived since 2018 ~
Popular
Other
[deleted]
[–]ScrubbyStop 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Idk I've got the same problem. One of the things I've noticed is that the most interesting people, on top of leading interesting lives, make other people feel interesting.
Just ask them about them and be interested in whatever they have to say, tell them about yourself when asked, but I usually wouldn't otherwise. The more interesting your life is, the more receptive they'll be to you being interested in them
I don't remember the quote exactly or where it came from but it was about a woman going on a date with two equally established politicians, and was something along the lines of "person A felt like the most interesting person in the world, but person B made me feel like I was the most interesting person in the world."
[–]AspadaXL 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm 25 yrs old now, and when I was 22, gosh, your story just reminded me about my early-20s. When I was 22, I compose piano music, play airsoft with my buddies, spoke three languages (English, Chinese and Japanese) and make videos etc. I got lots of hobbies in my life back then. However, I was just like you, that I could not get girls!
Later, what I found to be useful is to figure out what is really important to me and cut off those less-important stuff. For example, I am a 3D modeler, what is important to me is my professional skills and, of course, dating. So what I did was to stop spending time on music, airsoft and other stuff, rather, I allocate those efforts and time exclusively on modeling and dating.
Since a person's effort and time are limited, we cannot spread out too much, otherwise, it will be tough to concentrate. Dating is also a skill that needs time to develop and grow, just like doing workouts and speaking languages. Without taking care of it, it will be like a sword without honing for a while, and when you want to cut things, it simply will not work.
[–]antonthecad 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Once you have attraction. You can just have completely normal conversations with women, you don't need to be saying anything amazing or trying to impress her. You do need to escalate and keep things light and fun but there's no need to be doing anything extraordinary.
On dates etc I speak to girls like I'm speaking to my friends, my boss or whoever with a few sprinkles on top and the results are great. Girls like a normal guy who they find attractive, especially when he still moves the interaction forward.
[–]Sup3rHD 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Text is only for setup dates, nothing more. Girls are boring first of all, and u dont need to impress or be funny. She can likes you or not, so that you want be funny etc, can change her feelings for you.
Via text just ask her to hangout, then go back to ur business.
[–]NastyMonkeyKing 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
"Girls are boring"
What
[–]Sup3rHD 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes most of them are.
[–]lazylazylemons 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Can you give me an example of how you engage? Like- I said xyz, then she replied xyz, the you responded with xyz.
[–]UC18 4 years ago* [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
So this is an interaction I had literally about an hour ago. For a bit of context- this girl was interested in me in college but I had some insecurity issues and was dating her roommate for a bit so always cockblocked myself*. Last year I changed my number because I'd lost my phone. I'm planning on moving to a different city soon and I know she lives there (I said "I'm moving to __ in September, we should get together and catch up if you're still there" to which she responded by liking the text and replying with yesss - we dmd on instagram). She texted me first because I had put up an instagram story and said she had been trying to get in touch with me for a year.
Here's the last exchange we have after a brief catching up-
Her: I've been going through our old texts, we haven't spoken in a year wtf is wrong with u
Me: aww, too shy to text me first?
Her: do you even know me? And no I tried but I didn't have your new number, my texts wouldn't send. The past year has been wild.
Me: it has been, hasn't it? We should catch up when I move, texting isn't as fun
Her: yes, come to __ soon.
To which I responded by liking the text. I have no clue how to start a more engaging conversation, but I'm not even planning on texting her for a couple weeks. I can talk to girls like a friend basically, but I want to get better at being more engaging and move past basic small talk.
*So this was in 2019. Girl texts me in the middle of the night that she's horny and doesn't know what to do and my dumbass goes "have you tried masturbating". I don't know how this girl still kept speaking to me. I may be autistic
[–]lazylazylemons 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm so sorry, I LOLed at the last one because she handed it to you. That being said, I get it. So if I were you, I'd respond to the "yes, come to __ soon." with something like, "Ima hold you to this! XYZ date, already in my calendar, me and you. It's happening. In the meantime, talk me through what I should do tomorrow night- beach to watch the sun go down solo? Or beers with friends?" I do stuff like that to make them think of me or kinda wish they were there type of thing. As a disclaimer, I'm a woman so I don't know that everything works both ways. However, my thinking is two fold- makes them envision themselves with me in those atmospheres but also subtly suggests I have plenty of other things to do without them.
I think "it has been, hasn't it" is too shallow. You gotta engage with slightly more specific stuff to dig deeper. Like, "yeah, it has been! Remind me exactly how we both survived XYZ (insert covid, hurricanes, whatever current disaster or whatever you all are referring to?." Or you could say, "are we talking regular random crazy like Corona virus? Cause if you've had some extra crazy, I am here for it!" to get her to share. That part of the interaction could be deeper if you asked her, in a fun casual way, for specificity.
[–]froze_gold 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Could be tone and word choice, too much talking, or not enough teasing and escalating. Some ideas to start
[–]incognito3107 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Get yourself into new and uncommon situations, use lots of emotions in your interactions, focus more on activities and making a connection rather than logical interview and standard date schedule.
[–]Time-Caramel14361 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
It's awesome to have hobbies and stuff but it doesn't really matter when you talk to the ladies if you don't know how to get best out of it.
It is simple but you need practice, here is thing: Don just give normal straight answers, give absurd answers and make it light and funny, make jokes and sexual innuendos and don't agree with her if you think different than her, tease her when you feel like it and use all of this sparingly. Too much of everything is bad.
Plus when you have hobbies like that you are interesting person and you have so much to talk about, you gotta just be a little bit aloof. Hope it helps
© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.created by /u/dream-hunter
[–]ScrubbyStop 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]AspadaXL 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]antonthecad 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Sup3rHD 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]NastyMonkeyKing 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Sup3rHD 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]lazylazylemons 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]UC18 [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]lazylazylemons 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]froze_gold 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]incognito3107 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Time-Caramel14361 point [recovered] | Copy Link