Don't be boring but don't try too hard, don't be like all the other guys but don't be weird, try to sell yourself in a 2 minute interaction or through a phone screen, pick the right date place, negotiate the money side of things, be funny and entertaining, know how to escalate appropriately, pass all the shit tests, create sexual tension but don't make her feel too uncomfortable, be vulnerable but don't say anything that might be a turn off, know exactly how to please her in the bedroom and be a gentleman afterwards, plan something exciting for every date and so on. Meanwhile you're competing against a sea of other guys some of whom are more attractive, experienced etc.

It's started feeling exhausting and stressful 95% of the time

But I'm not sure what the alternative is, even if I work on myself and only have one date a month it's still a generally stressful experience which sometimes doesn't feel worth it, particularly if it's just casual sex.

How can I start to have more fun with it?