I’m not going to lie, I had tremendous, worrying anxiety because I felt unworthy to women and needing their validation at the same time to make me feel valuable. It didn’t matter my salary, my car, my friends, my hobbies or social circle, it always seemed this played a bigger role and brought me down and subconsciously is communicated to women.

Lo and behold, in spite of my anxiety, I lived in it and chose to answer what I felt like doing or desired, while keeping my emotions at bay. This meant, I focused on my desires and acted on them without worrying about what others may think. My emotions are a byproduct of how I was raised. I became aware of my upbringing, and why I wanted or needed the things I did and this made me start changing for the better. If I want to sing passionately in the car, do it, who cares if anyone judges. If there’s a girl who’s attractive, feel free to look but understand if she’s uninterested or gives negative body language, acknowledge it and look away and allow her to know you’re not up to no good, aka, ignoring her concerns or worry. Any hobbies or things that interests you, do them without thinking how others may perceive you. Working out and wanting to stop but not really tired? Think about your goals of having the body you want or the self pat on the back for crushing the new PR or record and go for it. Even if you fail, you are better for it.

This side effect brought me to smile, to have confidence in my day to day, and women surely have noticed. It’s subtle, but I personally believe women can sense and see confidence in the smallest, micro expressions in the face and body. I truly think behavior on top of fashion and fitness is what draws women in and each have an equal pull in generating attraction and second long looks.

As a result, women have openly talked to me, smiling more and seem interested in my company, even extending a conversation when normally I say something awkwardly to force a conversation and soon forgotten. There was one woman in this area I frequented and she never looked my way, ignored me even. Second I felt abundance, happiness at my own life, she opened me first unannounced and had a small chat and she smiled at me more than any other time the past eight months. I’m not the most attractive guy here but I am working towards it, understand my flaws and can only sand off the rough edges in this game we call life.

This is true inner game, exposing yourself, not caring what others think because instead of thinking about what other people need or desire, you change the focus on yourself and that’s the only barometer of success to focus on. Yes, you should care aboutn the other person, but never over your own beliefs or morals. You must come first.

Feel free to say things, you never know what doors it may open. Simply chatting to receptionists and cashiers and they seem way more flirty and eager to hold a conversation. This is far from seduction in getting them to have sex with me, but sex is a byproduct of vulnerability and wanting to be intimate/feeling safe in your presence. And if you can’t feel safe and vulnerable in your own skin and “Being yourself without fear” , how can you expect your partner to do the same? Or worse, you’ll find others who simply can’t and now have a head-case to work with.

I can go further in the comments if anyone has any questions but I can enter this confident state and working to make this a permanent habit. Before, I acted, now, it’s not acting, it simply is me. Unfiltered, but shining through brightly.