how many rejection should I expect while asking women out?

vardarac · 2022-03-20T13:08:26+00:00

I have started to actively pursue women but got rejected 3 times in one week

Let me tell you, if your expectation is to break a 5% success rate with cold approaches you are going to be sorely disappointed.

I'm a self-sabotaging social moron, so I might be a bit biased, but you have to accept that you're going to get rejected a lot and that it's part of the game and you shouldn't use those rejections to judge your worth.

The main trap I think we guys fall into is that with these rejections, being self-aware and decidedly not too narcissistic, we see them as potential indications we should change our behavior. But we decide too early, and too broadly, that these rejections indicate that the whole of us is wrong, rather than focusing on and following what we do successfully; rather than focusing on specific actions that might have contributed to failure in specific incidents with specific people. And perhaps these specific failures are just incompatibilities, in which case a rejection is a good thing.

tl;dr don't beat yourself up about it and keep grinding til you find one that likes you, and don't be a dumbass like me and walk away or overtext

norwegiandoggo · 2022-03-20T13:55:56+00:00

I think the first 100 cold approaches I did were all rejections. Took me a long time to figure out. I'd say now that I kind of know what I'm doing it's probably more like 8/10 are rejections. The biggest reasons people fail during cold approach in my opinion, are:

Doing it in a place women don't go to be social. For example: they hit on women at a bus stop, when they would be better of going to a park or open air food market.
Bad target selection. They pick the women because they're hot and don't take into account anything else. They might go up to the woman who is walking fast with headphones on because she's hot. Whereas if they just kept looking a bit longer they would notice a girl giving eye contact and smiling in their direction - a much better choice.
They go direct when they should go indirect. "Hey i just had to come over because you looked cute" is a really shitty way to hit on someone unless you're hot shit. Instead it should seem like you're just being a social guy looking for social things to do.

rickmackdaddy · 2022-03-20T15:44:08+00:00

Get the first 100 out of the way ASAP. Then you got it made.

Enterpreneur20 · 2022-03-20T13:10:10+00:00

3 rejections are nothing really, a lot of girls will Just reject you for too many different reasons ( like they are just hanging out with someone else, that's common for a cute girl). The only important thing Is just keep trying and you will see things improving

mraees93 · 2022-03-20T17:02:25+00:00

Try warm approach, it works for me most of the time

CompetitionFair7686 · 2022-03-20T13:14:58+00:00

A hundred times at least. The more you try the less frequent your rejections will be because you will learn and adapt your game every time you get rejected.

This is similar to playing videogames, the first times you play a videogame, you lose every time, but eventually if you keep playing the game, your skills start to improve and you become better at it, that’s when you start losing less times and winning more.

You just need to put your ego aside, stop taking the rejections personal, and treat each rejection as a chance to learn and get experience.

ItsaVibeman · 2022-03-20T14:58:47+00:00

All of them until 1 of them bites

Zealousideal6669 · 2022-03-20T17:21:49+00:00

I heard that narcissistic philosophy somewhere but I kinda like it so I tried it, since then I'm cockier than ever. It's questionable is it a good thing or not but it's actually a good thing for getting girls. Here's the thing. After any success that I achieved, I had to think like fuck yeah am amazing, I'm the man. I'm the best guy by far that girl has ever met. After any rejection the complete opposite. Okay she's busy. Okay she had a breakup. Okay she's lesbian. Whatever. So you're telling yourself that you're always good enough. One other thing was every night. Active reframing. I got a bad grade? Awesome I can improve and learn so many things. Does my gf breakup with me? Awesome I can meet even hotter girl. If it's 2 thing is in your daily schedule, it's gonna change your perspection. I'm sure about that

2022-03-20T22:36:54+00:00

9 out of 10 so you need to ramp it up a bit

letsridetoglory · 2022-03-21T01:15:16+00:00

COld approach is just a way to start and throw yourself out there but in no way is it the most effective.

ThatConservatveChick · 2022-04-07T23:46:02+00:00

(Coming from a female) Don’t ask out a random girl you see walking on the street it’s low key creepy no matter how attractive you are. (Unless she’s a h0e) At the very least have a human conversation with her first you reallly want to pursue her

(For me personally) I’m far more likely to go out with someone I’ve been talking to for at least a few weeks preferably months, so I know who they are, and can feel genuinely comfortable around them

Title	how many rejection should I expect while asking women out?
Author	lmao_lemo
Upvotes	3
Comments	17
Date	March 20, 2022 12:36 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/tik4kq/how_many_rejection_should_i_expect_while_asking/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-many-rejection-should-i-expect-while-asking.1264124 https://theredarchive.com/post/1264124

Comments