My girlfriend wants to be rougher in bed but...

TantramanFL · 2021-11-19T02:24:13+00:00

Be more physical, not necessarily “rough”. Find her limits, then stretch them incrementally. Sounds like she has “fantasies” she doesn’t fully understand.

Talk about it also. Appears you have some holes in your communication.

2021-11-19T14:11:06+00:00

I know a girl who dated someone for 11 years and apparently never got “rough”. She has a weird idea of boundaries, and seems to think that a relationship with a boyfriend shouldn’t be that different from a regular friend. Also she finds the idea of a dick in her mouth to be repulsive…

Very recently I suggested that she might be autistic, and she got an assessment, which came out positive.

renegade453 · 2021-11-19T02:42:52+00:00

If i had to guess she is probably not talking about rough in terms of choking or spanking and such. I guess she just wants to get fucked harder, dirtier and longer. Change up positions, try to go deeper and longer.

2021-11-19T17:49:41+00:00

[permanently deleted]

skimansr · 2021-11-19T04:13:43+00:00

Bend her over and pull her hair while grabbing that ass.

2021-11-20T03:49:38+00:00

when going misionary, grab her arms and push them upward, so they're outstretched above her head, then move your hands up until your fingers are interlaced. then take your dominant hand and bring it down, ggiving her a moment of softness by cradling her face with it. then squeeze her hip from the front (so that your thumb is lightly squeezing her woman "V" (not vag) and the rerst of your fingers are gripping her back. Then move forward with your arm so that it wraps around her waist (while still using your weak hand to hold hers). lightly grab her butt with your dominant hand and force her hips into you, increasing the pressure inside her.

unlock the both of your passion, don't violate her.

boofmcgoof · 2021-12-03T02:26:01+00:00

she is using the word “rough” but doesn’t understand what she actually wants (in my opinion). she doesnt want pain, she wants to be controlled. don’t hurt her or be “rough” in the way you are thinking about it. try grabbing her neck, spanking, telling her you are in charge, some derogatory terms (if she’s into that), etc. exude dominance without bringing pain.

Calamity__Bane · 2021-11-19T04:37:38+00:00

Send her here I'll fuck her properly

RainbowChardonnay · 2021-11-21T01:51:38+00:00

Don’t refer to your girlfriend as a “chick” it’s disrespectful and cheap. Don’t do anything that hurts her.

appmanga · 2021-11-19T05:04:52+00:00

Without context, it's difficult, and even dangerous, for someone on the outside looking in really know.

I will say there are women who have a rapekink, and it's not as uncommon as you would first think. You're version of rough may not be quite rough enough. Part of the kink for some is a degree of resistance, and even humiliation, to try to force you to be more forceful.

The problem here is you really don't know if this what she wants, and enunciating it might "spoil" the fantasy for her.

What you can try is to tell her you're prepared to be more rough than you're been in the past, but you two have to have a safeword so that if she really needs thing to stop, you will stop. That word can be as simple as her saying "red", but, unless she says it, you will continue no matter what else she says.

If she's not willing to do that, you have to cut your losses and move on. You can also visit r/rapekink to get some insight on this.

Good luck.

HerrLogic · 2021-11-19T07:36:13+00:00

I think it’s a double bind. Better not to take chances on her.

Title	My girlfriend wants to be rougher in bed but...
Author	NewStartup2021
Upvotes	3
Comments	28
Date	November 19, 2021 2:17 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/qx5tgc/my_girlfriend_wants_to_be_rougher_in_bed_but/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/my-girlfriend-wants-to-be-rougher-in-bed-but.1272059 https://theredarchive.com/post/1272059

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