Gentlemen:

I am compiling a list of excuses men make for not approaching and I want to develop counterarguments for those excuses. Here is a list I have compiled so far:

I am afraid of getting my ass kicked – Even if a woman’s boyfriend or husband is there, there is an almost zero percent chance you will get into a fight because you approached a woman unless you try to start a fight after her husband or boyfriend tells you to leave. All you need to say is “sorry, I didn’t know” and leave. I have approached thousands of women in my life, many with their boyfriend or husband there, and I have never gotten into a fight.

I do not want to look like the creepy guy hitting on girls – This is actually a reasonable concern, because there are some guys that clearly stand out as being creepy predators. Some malls and other public places have even banned pick-up artists because they were harassing women. But the solution is to approach without being creepy, not quit approaching altogether. I explain how to not be creepy elsewhere in this book. You should also have basic social awareness – if you are a woman’s grandmother’s funeral, it may not be a good idea to ask for her number during the eulogy. But most guys have basic social awareness – their fear is more irrational.

Approaching women is not accepted in my culture, in the social circles I hang out in, etc… - This fear is based on the idea that an “approach” is some strange and unique thing that everybody will notice and ridicule. Instead of thinking of it as an “approach” think of it is as “introducing yourself to a woman” or “talking to a stranger.” Is it really not acceptable to introduce yourself to a stranger in your culture or social circle? In most cultures, so long as you do not act creepy or clearly inappropriate, you are fine. Again, you need basic social awareness – in some Islamic countries you might get in deep trouble by approaching women in public, but again, having basic social awareness is pretty easy, which means the excuses you are making are irrational. If you are not sure where the “line” is in your culture, you can start by playing it safe and slowly pushing the edge to see how far you can go. But just not approaching because you are afraid people MIGHT think it is inappropriate is stupid.

I don’t want to bother her – There are 86,400 seconds in a day, so if you take 5 of her seconds to introduce yourself and compliment her, you are not doing anything wrong, especially considering the possibility that you could create a beautiful new relationship. Believe me, women face much worse problems in their life.

I don’t want the people in the bar to judge me – The truth is that approaching women will cause many people to judge you, both men and women, primarily because they are jealous. People are naturally haters, especially when they see somebody else do something they are too afraid to do. Your fear of the other people is natural because humans are tribal creatures that want the approval of the tribe, but you must subconsciously feel like the alpha male who makes the rules and does not give a fuck what anybody thinks. One way to overcome this fear is to think of yourself as the alpha of a DIFFERENT tribe who does not give a fuck what anybody in this tribe thinks because you do not need their approval.

Anything else? Also my site is http://www.woujo.com