I see a lot of questions from guys that are prefaced with: “I’m a normal guy”, or “How can a normal guy…”

This is one of the primary reasons guys have trouble with confidence around women. Their self-perception is one of mediocrity and inferiority.

Aside from being needy, being boring is the biggest attraction killer for women. If you inherently believe you are just “normal”, then there’s no reason she won’t view you as being dull and she will not be excited to be around you.

Normal is boring. Normal is what you should strive not to be— to be different from the status quo in society is crucial. Others might say you’re strange, you will gain more detractors, but this comes with the territory when you view things differently and are polarizing.

This isn’t an argument that everyone is born unique and special. That’s bull shit. Your actions alone are what make you unique.

Think of any ambition or experience you’ve had that makes you unique. For me, I always go to my love for writing and ambition to make it my full career. Even though at this time I haven’t reached any major benchmarks of success, I have an ambition that I am taking deliberate steps towards, and it supersedes almost all else in my life.

I also have unique work experience. I was an intelligence analyst for the government for several years. Although it didn’t make me rich, I learned a lot and was an interesting time of my life.

Focusing on bits and pieces of your life that you are proud of will allow you to truly believe and project that you are unique.

However, if you still feel you don’t have anything to offer, focus on developing yourself for YOU, not women. Attracting women is an amazing benefit of being dynamic and interesting, but should not be the primary goal. Develop yourself until you achieve what you want.