How do I stop being so nice?

Woujo · 2016-09-26T05:07:54+00:00

Some tips:

1) You need to have rules for yourself. For example, If I ask you out twice, and you say no for whatever reason, then I stop calling. I don't care how nice the girl is about it, if her grandma died, or if she says "I totally want to hang out sometime!!!" If I call you twice and you say no, it's over. It hurts because sometimes I feel like I still have a shot, but I have to adhere to my rules.

2) Stop thinking you're important. If you really "keep the conversation" going with a girl who ignores you because you dont' want to be an "asshole" it's because of your own ego. She doesn't want to hang with you and she doesn't like you, so how are you being an asshole by not texting her?

3) Girls like assholes. I don't literally mean that, but for your purposes, you need to just think that way to fix your problems.

Supatroopa_ · 2016-09-26T03:57:37+00:00

Just delete her number/social media. Not worth your time anyway

HidetsuguofShinka · 2016-09-26T04:28:59+00:00

Just pull back and see what they do. I've never been one to lavish all that much attention, but pulling back, I've seen where they'll start sitting next to you, leaning into your space a bit, chuckling at the stuff you say that don't even sound funny.

woocheese · 2016-09-26T03:41:02+00:00

Stop this mentality by asking girls out. When they make excuses tell them you'd love to meet up then don't contact them again. Maybe ask again a week later then after that fade away.

By all means reply to their messages but keep it short. Thats polite.

It's just a waste of your time and theirs to keep harassing them after they say no with your forced conversation.

Tjodleik · 2016-09-26T13:29:12+00:00

I feel it has to do with the social atmosphere of high school but every time I think of cutting a girl off/being rude I envision the girl thinking "wow I was interested in this guy but he's an asshole" or "well he's not interested in me so I better move on"

So what you're saying is that it's your own fantasies and assumptions that keep this ball rolling, since the girl in question isn't being responsive and therefor presumably does very little to encourage your behavior.

Thing is, with me I keep the conversation going through text, snap and I just reciprocate because I think it'd be blatantly an asshole move to just ignore her.

Then please explain the following to me; she's not responding, and/or giving you shitty excuses, which basically means she's waiting for you to take the hint and move on because she for whatever reason doesn't have the gall to tell you up front that she's not interested, and if you do take the hint and move on you're suddenly the asshole in this equation? Do tell me what kind of mental backflips you have to perform to make this work ...

How do I stop this mentality?

The key in this case is probably to realize that unless the girl give you explicit reason to think your behavior is unacceptable then you're not an asshole, and by keeping up with your current behavior you're basically pulling assumptions out of your ass and act upon them as if they are real.

EaSef1 · 2016-09-26T17:59:54+00:00

OKAY I Will answear the right response.

ready ? its not easy but its how its done. Im a stranger on the internet listen if you want.

think of youself as a sexual god. say it. IM A SEXUAL GOD. say to that girl. "Monica, im talking to you because i wanna fuck every inch of you, you drive me wild WOMAN, you make me think nasty things! "

see what i did? i polarized, shes obligated to have a emotional response, or she likes it or not.

your problem is that you stay a LOT in the middle ground not pushing the conversation to the edges of the extreme negative or positive and thus not getting good reactions from the girl.

BE POLARIZING, BE A SEXUAL GOD. SAY TO YOURSELF, IM A SEXUAL GOD. DONT BE ASHAMED TO FUCK GIRLS; OR waNTING TO FUCK GIRLS. SEX IS A WONDERFULL THING

khannner · 2016-09-26T15:59:16+00:00

are women allowed to post here? Treat her like a person (like a friend aka fellow MALE) women aren't mysterious creatures that you need some code to unlock. treat us as you would anyone else (aka men) in a developing friendship. Cutting a girl off will cause her to think that, so cut her off if you want to end the relationship.

Title	How do I stop being so nice?
Author	bozongle
Upvotes	13
Comments	10
Date	September 26, 2016 2:09 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/54iga7/how_do_i_stop_being_so_nice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-stop-being-so-nice.1289262 https://theredarchive.com/post/1289262

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