How do you deal with women who are making a conscious effort to avoid getting hurt?

hefnetefne · 2011-09-26T01:20:22+00:00

is this not a legitimate question? downvote?

2011-09-26T04:18:38+00:00

Women get all up in their head because of a break up, it's just a bit different than with us guys. Sex is part of this. One common reason is that she feels used. That's usually with the short relationships that come to a crash fast. Sometimes its for religious reasons where they feel that sex is sacred and that they have sinned or something. Whatever it is, it all comes down to the fear of getting hurt. Sex gets put in to the equation in their mind because it causes super strong emotional attachment making the breakup all the more painful. They are afraid to open up to guys (pun intended) because of their past. They think if they don't have sex they cannot get hurt in relationships anymore. Guys with poor inner game aren't the only ones who are outcome dependent. You can't instantly make a girl have higher esteem, but you can always help. Comfort her and be there for her. Time always works the best, though.

PTKIRL · 2011-09-26T02:45:15+00:00

Its simple man, you have to decide what type of relationship you wish it to be. If you are pursuing her just for the sex then thats an easy answer. If you feel like you want to pursue a relationship with this girl, then I would say go with it...tactfully.

Dont make it seem like you "need" sex with her.

I'm sure im going to get downvoted for this but i'm evil so I will say it anyway: I would tell her that I completely understand and its no problem because a relationship is based off more things than just sex. Meanwhile, up the fuck out of kino but always be the one to turn down the actual sex. Tell her you dont want to "compromise her morals". At that point she will jump your bones.

As always there is the "good guy" approach...and then my preferred approach...

hail in the downboats...

frogma · 2011-09-26T05:22:02+00:00

I've been with plenty of girls who've said things like this but none of em actually meant it. Kinda like what PTKIRL said, it's your job to escalate and build attraction/comfort regardless.

So you build up her comfort level- meanwhile, you're still escalating and getting into situations where sex is the natural outcome (like making out and shit). As long as she's comfortable with it, keep pushing forward. If she pushes you back or seems uncomfortable, pull back and either get her horny (physically) or more comfortable. Then try moving forward again.

I always tell guys this: She wouldn't turn down Brad Pitt, would she? You're obviously not Brad Pitt, but you still have the ability to build attraction/comfort and build her desire.

Pro-tip though: Don't ever listen to what girls say about bullshit "rules." They hardly ever mean it, so if you follow the rules, you're just fucking yourself over most of the time.

Whisper · 2011-09-26T05:33:08+00:00

Consider the converse. How would women deal with a man who had been burned, and swore off commitment until after the 4th week of sex?

They would rightly point out that the treachery of others was not their fault, or their responsibility to make right.

Title	How do you deal with women who are making a conscious effort to avoid getting hurt?
Author	hefnetefne
Upvotes	3
Comments	6
Date	September 26, 2011 1:12 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/krcdb/how_do_you_deal_with_women_who_are_making_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-deal-with-women-who-are-making-a.1290413 https://theredarchive.com/post/1290413

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