Why do girls who try to get your attention go cold after you show interest?

hunterpua · 2019-08-21T07:46:54+00:00

Because they're attracted to their own effort, not to yours.

If by "show interest" you mean ask them for their number or ask them out on a date or just do something that gives them a general sense that you're gonna start hitting on them then they will be turned off because by doing that you also let them know that you're gonna take over and be the one putting effort in to make something happen between the two of you.

Here's an easy way to understand the phenomenon:

Lets say, you've been wanting to adopt a dog and one day I just gave you a puppy to hold for 6 minutes, he's exactly the kind of dog that you want and you guys really get along...but I didn't say you could keep him, I just let you hold him for a while so after 6 minutes I take him from you.

No big deal, right?

Ok now think about keeping that puppy for 6 months. Bringing him into your place, feeding him, giving him baths, walking him, buying him food, taking care of him.

And then I come back and tell you that I never actually intended for you to keep him...

All of a sudden, we have a big problem.

We value that which we put in effort for.

So if a girl is doing things to get your attention, its ok to reward her for it but don't hit on her, just appreciate her and then move on.

Doing that will actually make her much more attracted to you because she will feel like her effort was put to good use.

If you ignore her she'll eventually give up and stop caring.

Similar to if you had a puppy for 6 months but he was a puppy from hell who would bite you and nibble on your shoes, carpet, playstation, and break stuff all over the house, even with all the effort you'd put in you would be more than glad to give him back to me.

But if you put in all that effort and he was the most well behaved boi ever and he loved the heck out you for everything you did for him then it would be heart shattering for me to take him away.

So do that to the girl, make it heart shattering for her to lose you.

How?

Lets say she's dancing to get your attention.

You can simply say, "Damn, I have to say you're really good at that." with a big ass smile but then you get up and walk away to do your own thing.

So she gets both of the things that she wants, you appreciating the effort and you not stopping her from putting in more effort because you didn't hit on her, in fact you walked away.

So basically you just appreciate her to be nice.

It should feel like you're friendzoning her.

She will love the fact that you really appreciate her but hate the fact that you only treat her platonically and that will make her want to work even harder to get your attention.

If you continue to appreciate her and also give her reasons to work harder it will get to the point where she will ask you out or will agree to go out with you without a second's hesitation.

In fact it'll get to the point where she wont hesitate to go anywhere with you...including your bedroom.

But how do you ask her out without making it look like you're hitting on her?

Just say, "Hey, I'm going to this music show with some friends, wanna come?"

You're not saying you would like to take her there, you're saying, whether she goes or not, you're gonna go and you're just giving her the opportunity to join you.

For taking her back to your place its the same thing. You can be like, "Man I'm really in the mood to just chill out and play video games. Are you any good?"

If you got her to work hard enough she'll say yes even if she isn't or she'll say she isn't but that she's a fast learner or some other reason to make you think she's cool to invite over.

After she says that, you can simply say, "Cool. Wanna come play with me?"

Again, its an invitation, you're not asking her to go, you're asking her if she would like to while maintaining the impression that even if she didn't you'd still play anyway.

And I hope you know that she wont really be going to your place to play video games with you.

...

That's how you can get a girl to put in most of the work all the way to sex.

...

This part is for everyone reading this comment

A lot of you have sent me direct messages asking for my advice because you read a comment I made on this sub, just like this one, and found it to be very helpful/insightful/meaningful and I'm happy to say I've been able to help you guys so much more because of that.

Here's the problem: More and more messages are coming in and I really want to help but its getting hard to keep up.

So I've put together a Facebook group for you guys that want to improve your dating lives and want to actually understand the psychology behind our interactions with not only women but with ourselves and people in general.

If you want to be part of a group that believes in finesse over brute force, technique over strength, smart work over hard work, Seduction over pursuit then send me a direct message letting me know you want to join.

If you are serious about getting better with women then I'll be happy to welcome you in.

Paltenburg · 2019-08-21T09:00:36+00:00

"Playing hard to get" really works.

I didn't know this until I experienced it myself: There were two girls I was both equally interested in. But over the next few weeks, the one girls kept chatting to me a lot, whereas the other barely responded. And I noticed my interest fading for the former and rising for the latter for some mysterious reason.

legend503 · 2019-08-21T10:36:42+00:00

Never play their game.

Ask them out. If she says no. Stop giving her free attention

MultiMidsets · 2019-08-21T12:34:58+00:00

Validation

midnightx07 · 2019-08-21T08:14:18+00:00

Because they've succeeded in getting your attention, challange over.

2019-08-21T10:41:33+00:00

Yo. Guys do that all. The. Time. I think it's just the thrill of approaching someone not actual interest!

ArmitageShanks69 · 2019-08-21T10:59:49+00:00

Because they got what they wanted. Attention. When they go cold they will be seeking attention from the next mug.

supreme_jackk · 2019-08-21T19:42:03+00:00

To shorten the first response, she is just looking for attention.

The end.

ghlibisk · 2019-08-21T12:28:10+00:00

Because you can’t want for what you already have.

caesarfecit · 2019-08-21T13:32:02+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ct98xx/why_some_women_need_to_chase_constantly

conditionfizzy · 2019-08-21T15:38:17+00:00

Watch alpha male strategies . A lot of people may disagree with him but he breaks it down .

smoothmax · 2019-08-21T22:11:38+00:00

I can make it even shorter: cat and a piece of string.

Title	Why do girls who try to get your attention go cold after you show interest?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	58
Comments	22
Date	August 21, 2019 6:42 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ctd0jo/why_do_girls_who_try_to_get_your_attention_go/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/why-do-girls-who-try-to-get-your-attention-go-cold.1291089 https://theredarchive.com/post/1291089

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