How do you escalate physically on a coffee date?

martyrmachine · 2018-01-18T03:40:18+00:00

You don't. That's why you do coffee dates. You make strong eye contact, be flirty throughout, and avoid all physical touching. After the date, suggest you two go for a walk, go to another place, or something else without the eyes and boundaries.

It'll be like the flood gates bursting.

TheCounterfeitKid · 2018-01-18T04:46:37+00:00

It's been proven in studies that people sitting side-by-side are more likely to agree with one another than people who sit across from each other. It's a great thing to say or joke about if you feel awkward initiating a move to be next to her. Plus, it's a cool little fact that's interesting. I say it to people all the time.

sinbad2011 · 2018-01-17T23:58:48+00:00

Take it slow. Have fun talking. at the same time, try these.

Talk about nails. anyhting about nails. and examine hers.
Talk about the size of your hands. trump had a thing there. or mention how people with larger hands tend to be perfectionists. ppl with Smaller hands tend to be more risk takers and trouble makers.

After you get the initial touching done, now its normal. Keep talking and having fun and at the same time, take the tip of ur hand and rub it gently against her palm AS YOU are talking about some shit ur enjoying.

or later just hold her hand.

Like 54mike said, always sit on the same side.

hope this helps.

DrakeRae · 2018-01-18T01:47:36+00:00

You have multiple choices really. There isn't one way.

Sit next to her from the start - You can do this really easily when you're sitting down. Just move your chair to the side of her seat so that it's easy for you to make moves on her. You don't have to worry about you moving or her moving.
Get up and sit next to her - Tell her something like "scoot over". Say it with confidence. I mean 100% power behind it. She will comply.
Tell her to sit next to you - Just tell her, "come sit next to me". Again 100% power behind it and it works like a charm. Some girls will have some resistance, so you just need to give them an excuse such as "I want to show you something" and they will comply. Make sure you show them something though if you say that. Doesn't have to be interesting. Even retarded stuff work so don't overthink it.

The main things you need to be sure to do is do things without hesitation. Do them at 10000000% and your date will respond well. If you deal with resistance, it's completely normal. Just give a reason why. Often times I like to give a reason why to handle the resistance before it comes.

Hope this helps.

recyclablebanthas · 2018-01-18T04:13:20+00:00

TL;DR: No need to stress out so much about physically escalating on a coffee date. Read all my post or skip to the end where I drop some suggestions on how to test the waters and get a feel for what pace of escalation she might want.

1

How do you escalate physically on a coffee date?

False assumption. You don't NEED to physically escalate on a coffee date.

Who knows? Maybe she'll open the door for physical escalation, but otherwise, coffee dates are for getting to know if you actually find her attractive or not. Not for escalating in some tremendous ways.

Movie nights at your place or hers....... Now THOSE are the kinds of dates that you might expect more escalation opportunities.

Coffee dates? No need to force it.

2

Say she is sitting opposite you with the table inbetween.

Then you talk to her like a person. This really isn't so complicated. There isn't some hourglass in the background that runs out during the coffee date. You're not on some timer that means you will be declared less of a man if you haven't done X, Y, or Z fast enough.

And you don't need to escalate past some point or risk losing "attraction."

If you confidently and comfortably handle yourself in the interaction, and couple that with awareness of where she's at, AND she turns out to be attracted, then you'll be in the best position to act.

3

What do you do when she arrives and during and end?

There is no step by step process for this. I mean, PAY ATTENTION is the mantra at all times. You never know what opportunities might be there.

Some girls are attracted and want to act immediately. If you're not paying attention and you think there's some step by step process you have to follow, then you'll turn those girls off because you'll be IGNORING their attempts to use body language, etc., to indicate they want to get down.
But mostly, girls do like to go through some sort of vetting process. They want to see if they actually like you or not. (And honestly, you shouldn't be giving them a pass, either, just because they have tits and ass.) They also want to make sure they are safe around you; that you'll pursue what you want, without disregarding what they want.

4

So you might meet a girl and she's open to a hug or she might not want any touch except for a handshake. No way to tell until the very moment and no way to tell unless you're f--king paying attention. :)

One girl might want to chat and get a feel for you with a longer coffee chat. Another might want to cut coffee short and get some privacy. No way to tell until the very moment and no way to tell unless you're f--king paying attention. :)

One girl might want nothing to do with you after the coffee date, another might want another date. No way to tell unless you're f--king paying attention. :)

5: So what do? Some suggestions

As for what exactly you might do besides paying attention? Here are some easy things that people overlook, which give you information about her openness to escalation with you:

Testing her space bubble. Edging into her personal space and seeing if she makes the adjustment to get her space back. Does she move her leg away from yours to maintain distance. And so on.
Safe, non-sexual touches that you could engage in with anyone, even guys. Arm jabs, shoulder, outside of the arm stuff, high fives, etc. Any sort of contact (or expectation of contact like when you put your hand up for a high five) will force a reaction from her as to how much she likes contact with you.
Her reaction to incidental or accidental contact. You can't plan this one, but sometimes you'll bump up against her or something, and her reaction might tell you something.
Overall, it's key that you pay attention throughout this process. You need to be aware of her reaction to you being in her space, or physical contact. It's the only way to know if you are welcome to do what you're doing, or if you should make adjustments.

54mike · 2018-01-17T23:45:36+00:00

Try and sit on the same side as her, make up some bullshit excuse to sit next to her or get her to sit next to you. /ah the sun is in my eye/ Follow the escalation ladder but take it veeeryyy slowly since you’re probably in public. Keep kino as a little secret between you both that no one else knows about.

NoloRadio · 2018-01-18T02:51:44+00:00

Go for a walk afterwards, and then flirt with her and end up sitting next to her somewhere.

LegitAnswers · 2018-01-18T04:13:42+00:00

That's why you don't sit across from each other. Too impersonal. Sit next to each other so you can look at each other's phone's, physically interact, etc.

LingeringGnome · 2018-01-18T21:20:31+00:00

Don't make coffee dates.
Make dates in the evening.
Makes dates at a bar or restaurant with a bar.
No food.
Have one drink, when the drink is done, decide if you want to ask her home.

People tend to over-complicate things.

Title	How do you escalate physically on a coffee date?
Author	Megachin604
Upvotes	20
Comments	10
Date	January 17, 2018 11:19 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/7r59cm/how_do_you_escalate_physically_on_a_coffee_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-escalate-physically-on-a-coffee-date.1298630 https://theredarchive.com/post/1298630

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