I am very afraid of physically escalating. What are some tips/exercises you can throw my way to help overcome this?

Scooter_McGavin_ · 2019-07-13T16:42:08+00:00

I should add a little context too. Approaching for me actually comes pretty naturally - my issue is showing a girl I’m interested and escalating from there.

andrew343 · 2019-07-14T01:48:50+00:00

If we're walking I like to start by holding hands. Sometimes I literally just say "Let's hold hands" and grab her hand.

If we're sitting I just lean against her a slight bit so our shoulders are touching. You can also touch your thigh to hers if you are sitting on a couch or something like that. (With sitting I think it's also good to make strong eye contact. Not necessarily the entire time you speak with her, but what you don't want to do is stare straight ahead. If you're talking to her, you should face her.)

If she doesn't pull away, it's like a green light and you know she is okay with it and probably attracted to you.

Then to escalate to kissing, I like to do it by making strong eye contact while I talk to her. Then, assuming she makes strong eye contact back, you just move your face closer and go in for the kiss.

Once we're kissing I wrap my arms around her and pull her close.

Then it kind of depends where you and her are, but I try to stop kissing and lead her back to my bed and get on top of her. Then take my shirt of or her shirt off, then all our clothes off, then have sex.

Anyway, that's just what works for me. Hope it helps.

2019-07-14T04:57:01+00:00

Are you with a women who displays obvious attraction to you? If the answer is yes then just escalate. She wants you to escalate and is probably dying on the inside for you to escalate.

recyclablebanthas · 2019-07-14T04:10:01+00:00

A good way to acclimate yourself to the sort of social awareness you need for escalation, is to take up a social partner dance like salsa, swing, or tango.....

Those dances require you to build attentiveness and you're practicing touch in a safe way and you're learning how people show in their bodies that they don't like your touch, etc.

KND_DNK · 2019-07-14T01:17:55+00:00

!remindme 1 day

user_518 · 2019-07-14T01:42:04+00:00

!remindme 1 day

Pokemastra · 2019-07-14T16:17:29+00:00

Don’t overthink it; it throws you into a spiral where you never get started with approaching or escalating. Look for windows to escalate (movies, drinking, dancing, etc) or create your own during the date. Here’s a post with tips on how to escalate: http://tripfallgetuprepeat.home.blog/2019/04/19/how-to-escalate/

sinbad2011 · 2019-07-15T05:35:51+00:00

when i first started, i was scared too.

this is not ideal but...

what i did is find excuses to touch. for example, one of the things i would do is make up shit about finger length and while im . doing that, id be touching the her finger. i be like the index finger is associated with power and stuff. let me see ur fingers...see, yours is a bit small but its not as long as the ring finger. blah blah blah

idea is come up with excuses to touch her

Rule: just touch her hand when you're talking. dont stay quient and then touch. pressure is added on her hten. make her comfortable. be the touchy guy.

Title	I am very afraid of physically escalating. What are some tips/exercises you can throw my way to help overcome this?
Author	Scooter_McGavin_
Upvotes	24
Comments	20
Date	July 13, 2019 4:40 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ccrd57/i_am_very_afraid_of_physically_escalating_what/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-am-very-afraid-of-physically-escalating-what-are.1302169 https://theredarchive.com/post/1302169

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