Some background: 26 y/o dude in major US city. Been single for 4 months. Marathon Runner. Athletic thin build. I run my own biz. I'm pretty good at creating my own frame for interactions, but my social circle is small. I'm using dating as a way to expand it. I've #-closed maybe 20 HBs since becoming single. F-closed 7 of them. My main sources of dating deal flow are OKCupid and random interactions (bars,coffee shops, parks, gym, etc). I usually open casually with some eye contact and/or a compliment or noticing something about a womans outfit/dog/purse/whatever.

Here's the problem:

Of the 20 HBs that I've #-closed, 18 of them are HB 6/7s. 2 are HB9s. Perhaps I am just working with low HB9-volume, but the interactions with HB9s seem to always implode sometime between first date and second date. (I won't get a callback, etc.) It is clear that I have some ability with HB6/7s. (See this post about a date with a HB6 I had last week: http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/fb1i1/fr_second_date_fclose_at_the_bar/ )

I think the main problem is my deal-flow. Not a lot of HB8/9s use OKCupid due to the fact that men approach them whenever they are out. It's just supply / demand! I also get mild AA when a woman IRL is a HB8/9, so I am not meeting a lot of them (unless I have high social proof in the set I am working within, or for some reason I find that I just don't give a fuck that night).

I think that once you have bad deal flow, it instantly changes the frame of your interactions in your head. Right now I am juggling three or four HB6/7s (one just left my apartment at 7am, as I am writing this), which allows me to play it cool and loose with all of them. But, I find that once I have a HB8/9 on my radar, she instantly becomes priority and I think maybe I somehow blow it because she's framed differently in my head.

Here's a mini-FR. I met this HB9 in the gym last week. Fun, loose interaction. She was using the machine the wrong way, so I opened her giving her some corrective advice in a playful way. We talk for 10 minutes. Where'd you go to school? blah blah blah. All the normal shit. Then I say goodbye. I workout for another 15 and change into my street clothes. Her and her roommate have gone to another part of the gym at this point. So I go find them and re-open with: "Hey, I swear I'm not a creep, but I did want to come find you and say hi again. You guys seem really cool and I'd like to hang out sometime. Can I get your number?" #-close done. I say bye and walk away. I can hear them giggling as I'm walking away. Good signs.

I wait 3 days until Thursday. Call her. Invite her to a birthday party saturday night. She shows up at 11pm. She's buying my frame, and is clearly into me. With some mild but well-placed kino, I'm holding her hand by 12pm. I brought a woman wingman that night, and she's absolutely killing it for me (endearing stories, funny stories, etc). So we venue-change and I loose my wingwoman. Another beer later, and we're exchanging more stories and kissing. It's 3am, and I say we should leave since I am getting up to go skiing tomorrow at 5:30am. When we're outside, she points and says "well, my apartment is this way". I respond with "Well, you want to come back to my place?". She frowns. "I'm not that kind of girl, Queso." I try to damage control: "I didn't mean to imply anything, I just thought we were enjoying each others company. Didn't want it to end" Anyway, we kiss and say good night. (Seddit: Should I have framed the ask to take her home as an offer to walk her home?)

In retrospect, I had 5 or 6 beers that night . She had maybe 2 or 3 the entire time. (Not my fault, she arrived late) I'm hoping I wasn't much more wasted than her.

Fast forward to yesterday. It's monday, I'm trying to plan out my week. I call her at 7:30pm to ask her out. No answer. Voicemail (a smooth and concise one too). She calls me back after 10 minutes but it's one of those hang-up-calls that only rings once. So I wait 3 minutes and call her back. No answer. Haven't heard from her since then.

[/End HB9 FR]

Anyway, I'm not entirely sure the lead is lost. But it is clear to me that I did some damage to my rapport by asking her back to my place on the first date. I def need to calibrate my HB8/9 game more.

Don't mean to make this post so much about this one FR or this one chick. In general, I need some tips on how to up my game to consistently win HB8/9 instead of her less-desirable stepsisters:

Maybe I call / text HB8/9s too soon after interaction? Maybe I just need to calibrate my entire game to be a bit tighter for HB8/9s? Maybe I just need to treat them just like I treat the HB6/7s? Maybe I need more HB8/9 dealflow? If so, any suggestions on how to meet/approach them?

Seddit, what do you think!?!

~PUAQueso

tl;dr - HB8/9s are harder to close. what ways do you up your game to close them?