OMFG, you won't believe this, I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't just experienced it myself. I spent tonight amidst seven different bridesmaid's parties. I'm drunk, so bear with me, this might be a little incoherent. Hell, even if I managed to get a tenth of the madness of tonight into this FR, it would still be totally incoherent. This is probably going to be long, but it gets better as it goes along, especially at the end.

Let's forget the study and advance work. I had no time for that. Read Mission 11 and 11.5 if you care. I spent last night in the field, with an awesome set. Then I had an encounter with The Woman which was roundly criticized. But I don't care.

Tonight I was sitting at home reading seddit at about 10PM, I'm reading ArMcK's FR about how he bailed on a long night but at least he made the effort, even though he wanted to stay home. I read through some other seddit queries about meeting women, made a few comments, and then I thought about ArMcK. I could either sit here talking to other online sedditors about why they're not out meeting people, or I could go out like he did, and meet some people. So I hopped in the shower, shaved quickly (and bled profusely, since I ran out of fresh razors) and then dressed.

Let's start with wardrobe. It always starts with wardrobe. Again, at the suggestion of psych reports posted on seddit, I'm wearing a red shirt. It's a vintage Girbaud X designer shirt, circa 1992. This is my best shirt, my party shirt. I save it for special occasions. I decide that I'm wasting my life saving it for special occasions, I've probably worn it less than 20 times. It is time to wear it and MAKE it a special occasion. I am reminded of a story I read in the NYTimes about a guy who bought a $3000 bottle of wine, and told his friends he was saving it for a special occasion. One of his friends confronted him, how special an occasion would it have to be, to crack open the $3000 wine bottle? He insisted that just opening the bottle would make it a sufficiently special occasion. So he opened the bottle right then and there.

Anyway, the shirt is a perfect match for my Girbaud black jeans, I bought them at the same time. I look hot, and the alleged psychological advantage of red should work in my favor. It did last night, even if the effect was all in my head.

So I head out at 10:30 to the local bar, the live music club. I'm hoping maybe I run into the girl from last night, or maybe the redhead from a week ago. But there's no live music, and the place is totally dead when I arrive, only about 4 people are present, one HB5 and 3 of the disgusting resident alcoholics. I grab a beer, I decided I'm drinking tonight. I head out to the patio, there are about 15 people out there. I open a few people, and the sets go well, but I have no expectations, the night is early.

I head back inside and drink for a bit, and I notice the HB8 barmaid from the Road House walks past me, and she is really dressed up. She's wearing a hot little black dress and her ample cleavage is pushing forth like her dress is going to burst. What the hell is she doing here? I realize the bar has come to life, a group of about a dozen hot women have arrived, they're all dressed up. I decide to open the HB8 barmaid, playing off last night's action.

Me: Hey what are you doing here?

HB8: We're having a bridesmaid party!

(She starts walking away. I'll deploy one of Mystery's strategies, if a woman walks away while you're talking to her, just keep talking louder like you expect her to listen, and invariably she'll return to you. I'm not sure this works, I've never tried it.)

Me: You know, last night.. YOU REALLY.. CUT ME.. TO THE QUICK, I WAS GRAVELY INSULTED.

(Amazingly, it works. Despite me not speaking so loud that anyone else could hear, she stops and walks back to me)

HB8: What?

Me: [Quick kino, casually placing my hand on her bare shoulder] Last night you were bussing an armful of bar glasses in from the patio, and you asked me, "Could you be a gentleman and open the door for me?" I am insulted. How could I ever be anything less than a gentleman for such a beautiful woman as you?

HB8: Ha ha.. Aww.. you're so sweet. [she hugs me and presses her cheek to mine]

She runs back to her bridesmaid party. I'm sitting at the counter, it's getting a little crazy in here with all the women, and I see one woman go into the men's bathroom by herself. WTF? I decide to approach the bridesmaid party with an observational opener. There's one HB6 woman on the edge of the group, she's a little bit overweight, but has big tits and ample cleavage on display, this looks like the woman to open, she's down for partying. Tonight I am laying on the thick direct game.

Me: Hey, I hear someone's getting married!

HB6: Yeah, and we all think it's a big mistake.

Me: Well perhaps it is too late for her, but it is not too late for us!

HB6: Ha ha.. That could be a big mistake too.

I'm locked into this set, and HB6 is responding well, but I am not sure I see any IOIs. It will probably be hard to pull her out of the party group. I stack a few topics, and as we chat, the HB8 barmaid walks by and slaps her ass, and she gets a weird smile on her face. She liked that.

Me: What? Hey, waitaminute, that's a man's prerogative. There won't be any ass slapping around here unless I'm doing it!

And I slap her on the ass, good and hard. She likes that too, she sways inward and grabs ahold of me. As we chat, I inquire about Barmaid HB8 and learn her name is Erin. We keep chatting and have some good rapport, and Erin comes by a couple more times. Each time she passes, she slaps the girl or pinches her ass. And each time, I do the same thing. I am going for totally inappropriate kino tonight, but she seems to like it. Eventually HB6 expresses her concern for the bride, who has not returned from the men's bathroom. I offer to check it out, but HB6 says she'll do it, and I am left alone at the edge of the party. Everyone seems engaged in their chats, I'm not sure how to reopen. I wait a minute, HB6 doesn't return. I decide to check the men's room myself, there's nobody there, so I take a leak. When I get back, HB6 is chatting to 2 other bridesmaids, they have their arms around each other. It might be hard to penetrate this set, I hang around on the edge for a minute, decide I'm looking needy, and just blunder ahead with a reopening, interrupting the womens' chat.

Me: Did everything turn out OK with your friend?

HB6: Everything is fine, thanks.

Me: Well I have to take off. You girls stay out of trouble! I know you're looking for trouble!

HB6: Bye! It was nice talking to you!

I eject and leave the bar. This turns out to be the best move I made all night. I head out to the Road House, where Erin usually works. I thought that might be amusing. On the way there, up Highway 999, just at the edge of the road construction zone, I notice another Road House. I haven't been there before. I pop in and notice it's a real Road House, there are a few Harleys parked outside. But when I walk inside, it's obvious they are not real bikers, they're wearing colors they bought off the rack. I sit down at the counter and have a beer, it's karaoke night, oh no. I sit at the bar next to an HB5, she's sitting at the end of her group of 3 women. She seems friendly, she says she's drunk. I chat her up, give her some of my routines about earplugs, some DHVs about doing karaoke in Japan, but she's so soused that this set isn't going anywhere. The bartender gives the 3 women a shot of something. I object to HB5, "hey, free drinks, where's my shot?" She laughs. But I know when I'm being snubbed, I deserve a free drink as much as HB5 and her two obese friends UB3 and UB2. I decide to eject and head for the other Road House.

[Continued]