Seducing your...wife?

GroverDill · 2010-10-06T15:32:57+00:00

I've been married for 17 years and have two teenage boys. I'll tell you what works for me. It may not work for you or anyone else, but it definitely works for me.

Be the man of the house -- Everything is my responsibility. This doesn't mean I need to do everything. But if something is not as it should be. It's my job to fix it.
Always game -- A bored female is a dangerous thing. Be flirty, be unpredictable. Push - pull. She's constantly gaming you whether she realizes it or not. These things work for a reason.
Anchoring -- Learning this will change your life. If you clap your hands in front of her every time she is pissed off, eventually simply clapping your hands will piss her off. Don't do that. However, if you squeeze her shoulder every time she orgasms, guess what? It's a good way to bring her out of a bad mood if she's having a tough day, or a great way to improve a good mood into an awesome one.
Social proof -- I was already married when I stumbled into the concept of "pickup." Just for kicks I tried some of the techniques at one of her work parties. Several of her co-workers (single and married) were seeking my attention and asking her if they could dance with me (and I suck at dancing). She was so worked up by the time we left she was asking if we could pull the car someplace secluded before we got home. Needless to say I game all of her female friends whenever I get the chance. I have no plans to do anything with them, so don't get any ideas.
Turn her on, get better in bed -- You mention you would like it to be a two way street. Your job as the man is to have her to not only want to go down that street, but be craving it. Remember the cat and the string principle. If you dangle a string in front of a cat it will go nuts trying to get it. If you drop it, the cat is no longer interested. This may be tough as you said you want sex every night. If she's good once a week what frame of mind do you think she's in when it's time for bed? Stop asking. Start teasing. Make her feel good throughout the day. Look good. Smell good. Kino. Eye contact. Use every trick in the book. Don't initiate sex. If she's a healthy female she'll be getting worked up more and more and the next thing you know that slight brush of hair on her neck turns into wild sex on the kitchen floor. She'll be breathing hard thinking, "Holy shit what just happened," and you'll be thinking, "Damn, I should have squeezed her shoulder." I won't guarantee every night, but if you actively work on keeping her turned on, she'll be looking for ways to keep you happy. Two way street. Recently, my wife has started randomly squeezing my shoulder. :D
Pedestals are boring -- As someone else said, the game is over. How's that working out for you? Keep dangling the string. Instead of buying flowers, grab something cheap that you know she will appreciate. Come home and say, "Hey, I saw this widget and I thought you would like it, so I grabbed it for you." It's very important to convey that it is not a big deal, because it isn't. Don't want or expect anything in return. Be unpredictable.
Tell her "No" -- She's not a reality show housewife or on MTV's Sweet 16. Chances are she was initially attracted to you because you were dominant and confident. Be that guy again. It's still attractive. "Yes dear," is the most unattractive thing a man can say. If you in any way resemble a husband on a TV commercial or sitcom, change immediately.

As I said at the start, this works for me. Results may not be typical. Individual mileage may vary. In my opinion, adopting the attitude of step number one is the most important thing you can do. If you are not happy with something in your marriage, family, work or anything else in life, it's not their problem, it's yours. So is the responsibility for fixing it.

Good luck.

throwawayrarst · 2010-10-06T03:56:41+00:00

I've said this in a previous thread, but I'll repeat here.

PU teaches you to be interesting, cool, funny, sexy, unpredictable, and mysterious. Interesting, cool, funny and sexy still apply inside a LTR. It can be harder to remain interesting if you're doing everything with her, so make sure you still put in the effort to go on new adventures. And have some adventures with the boys so you have stories to tell later.

Unpredictable and mysterious don't mesh so well with LTRs. Unpredictable in terms of doing things spontaneously = good. Unpredictable in terms of not returning calls from her = bad.

pickup_startist · 2010-10-06T03:05:50+00:00

You need to keep treating her like she's not a sure thing. Keep her interested, keep her hot. Make sex with you something that's not a sure thing as well - something she has to work for.

If you feel like you can be a lazy slob and still keep her, you will be a lazy slob. Don't give yourself the slack.

RedErin · 2010-10-06T15:04:34+00:00

Hi there. I was in the same boat as you. Yes, you can seduce your wife. A lot of times, these issues arise because partners will take each other for granted. When that happens, things start getting unsexy.

I've been reading seddit for the last couple of months and I'm getting more sex than ever from my SO, and we've been married 10 years.

jspeights · 2010-10-06T06:17:18+00:00

Hey Buddy, if you start treating your wife like she's not a sure thing you're going to complicate things more then you realize. Simple fact is women are emotionally smarter then we are and she'll pick up on this bullshit move. I recommend reading "How to Romance the Woman You Love - The Way She Wants You To!" and buying "Romantic questions" both books found on Amazon.

When you're with your WIFE, being genuine is real, layer that with romance and you'll re-spark that fire. Play the game of making her think that "she's not a sure thing" and one way or the other you'll find her new lovers text on her phone because she thought you were no longer interested.

TLDR; dont play that game with your wife, get passionate about being romantic with her. She's your wife after all and if you can't realize that (with confidence) the next man will.

PEACE

2010-10-06T03:15:29+00:00

Hm, interesting. I haven't put much thought to how PU theory applies to those already in a relationship, but I'm sure there are applications. If you don't give your wife the impression that you're hounding her for sex, she might have more of an interest in it.

More generally, maintaining the impression that your wife needs to "win" you might make her less likely to take you for granted. That said, don't give up on the cute acts of kindness that husbands should perform for their wives--like getting her flowers out of the blue and stuff.

That stuff can chase off a college girl you hardly know, but I mean, come on. You're married. That means something!

So yea, I think there are elements you can incorporate into your marriage, but obviously not 100%.

mbatterham · 2010-10-06T08:22:18+00:00

This should get you heading in the right direction.

philosarapter · 2010-10-06T13:22:18+00:00

Bubble baths.

twelve112 · 2010-10-06T04:40:45+00:00

That game is over once u tie the knot dude.

ferveo · 2010-10-06T15:31:30+00:00

Buy her shit.

Title	Seducing your...wife?
Author	need2fmywife
Upvotes	14
Comments	25
Date	October 6, 2010 2:48 AM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/dndve/seducing_yourwife/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/seducing-yourwife.1312147 https://theredarchive.com/post/1312147

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