How to go to the clubs alone (meet women, etc.)

aruki · 2010-10-08T22:36:03+00:00

Hi. I fly solo all the time. Thinking back to when I first started out, it was extremely uncomfortable. However, I've changed my behavior/personality now in such a way that I am more happy with it, and everyone else seems to be strongly pleased too. I will explain:

The first change I made was that I looked everyone in the eye and smiled. Most people refuse to look at you as you pass by. Don't take it personally. It soon got the point (1/2 year in) that I did not even realize I was doing it. It seemed like people were smiling at me and approaching me for no reason. Well, there was a reason women approached me (and not the other way around).

Complementing this approach, I started pretending that everywhere I went was my home. On advice from a friend, I would enter a place and even say aloud, "My Place!" But you have to feel it too. A lot of good things follow this. Suddenly, everyone there is your guest. As a host, you have to make sure they have good time. I had been quite shy before, but this gave me purpose, and, specifically, a non-pervy purpose. Here is your social proof. Everyone sees you drop in several groups and sees them enjoying the night with you. Then they see you depart, having a good time, and drop in another group.

3 second rule: fly by a group and say something relating to their conversation within 3 seconds. If you don't, you fail. This can be something as remote as "You Can't be serious!" and then tease them about it for a minute or two (good-naturedly like a caring friend). Then excuse yourself and walk off. You will see them again many times during the night and you will smile and wave, and they will smile and wave back. This is absolutely gold social proof to whoever you really want to work on later in the night. Imagine if 5 groups of people walk by and say "hi" or stay a bit for your conversation. You suddenly look like the most popular guy there who knows everyone (and, in fact, this is true).

There are a lot of other things too in terms of working the conversation out in your favor, but these 3 things I mentioned will get you unbelievably far. Work on them first.

eye contact and smile (graduate to smile, wave, and "hi")
"My Place!"
3 second rule convo starter, then excuse yourself after a short time

Ohioho · 2010-10-08T21:33:02+00:00

Do you live in a big area? How likely is it that you will run into somebody you know at a club? I can go to most bars in my area and find a group of people that I know, so I have no problem if I ever wanted to go alone.

In the case that I don't know anybody, I just mostly pretend that 1.) I'm waiting for people or 2.) I'm with people and I've broken off from their group.

"Where are your friends at?"

Response: "Oh they're probably over by the bar" or "I came to the bar to buy a drink, they're out dancing right now."

The bar is typically the best way to strike up a conversation because it is away from the dance floor. Since most people are drunk, starting a conversation with a stranger is super easy. I typically make small talk and then ask if they want to go out for a smoke. Even if you don't smoke, you can still typically get in with a group of people just bullshitting with a person. If that fails, just move onto the next person. Make friends with one person at a bar, and they may let you into their group of friends they're with.

It's entirely different if you are trying to pick up on girls though. Having a group of friends with you to "wingman," or work as a support group is much easier. You can definitely do it alone, however with most people having friends there boosts their "not giving a shit" level, because if you fail, you can go back to your original group of friends.

Just go out alone and act like you are comfortable or with a group of friends. Avoid darting your eyes around looking for people to talk to; it's a sure sign that lets people know you are alone. Buy a drink, sit down, and chill. This is completely based on your confidence level. Even if you fail the first time, don't give up. You'll find that with each failure your confidence level keeps getting stronger. That is, of course, if you go into it with the right attitude.

I would also suggest prefunking before going to a club, then just go on the dance floor and dance. If you dance with a girl, it is easy to pull her aside and order drinks (you don't necessarily have to buy her a drink either....just get her to the bar).

dark180 · 2010-10-08T21:47:11+00:00

Some of my best sarging has been done solo. The reason for this is that you're less likely to just sit and talk with your buddy and more likely to talk to strangers, thus furthering your goals.

If someone asks where your friends are, you can handle this in two ways. First, you can point over to a group you've previously opened, and merge groups. This can benefit you in two ways, first of all, you can get obstacles engaged leaving you to more easily isolate your target. Second, you have social proof.

Also, you can just be honest and say you're flying solo. Either way it's easy enough and not that big of a deal.

In short, for me personally, a wingman usually holds me back. I prefer to fly solo when I'm serious about sarging. Nothing wrong with going out with friends, but it's not as conducive to sarging (for me personally) since people can be unpredictable, even your wingman.

mechanate · 2010-10-08T21:53:32+00:00

The Dos Equis guy says something to the effect of "It only takes one man to win over a woman."

Social proof is a powerful tool. But it has its downsides. If you're not drinking there's a good chance you're driving. And don't forget that women can be shy too. If they see you with a bunch of friends they may feel like they've got to be accepted by them too.

Flying solo means there's nothing holding you back, no one you've got to babysit or check in with, no friends to puke in your car on the drive home, and no pressure to overdrink. You can leave whenever you want, with whoever you want, and you don't have to put up with interrogations the next day.

2010-10-10T03:53:00+00:00

I meant to post this in this thread, but it made it to another club thread somehow.

I have done quite a bit of sarging rolling solo at a club with a lot of success.

First off, i think it is important that you actually enjoy the music that is being played at the club - especially for solo game. If you do not enjoy the music, it shows. If you do not have a passion for the music being played, and you are by-yourself, people will wonder why you are there.

Liking and being familiar with the music at the club gives you something in common with the other people there, making getting into conversations that much easier, you already have something in common.

Next, tip the bartender really well. hand him / her a $20 at the start of the night and ask them to call you by your last name. "mr. smith" or whatever your last name is. it will give you amazing social proof when you are in a set and you go up the bar and the bartender high fives you and asks, "hey mr. jones can I get you anything?"

next, start talking to everyone. make short conversations, starting with the people in the club that are the highest energy.. away from the dance floor. Talk to them for 5 minutes, make them laugh, and move on to another group. Then, after you know a large % of the people there, when you see two people in a group that didnt come together, go up and say, "oh, i see you've met, X this is Y, Y this is X."

Then, you went from being the guy that went to the club by himself, to the guy that knows everyone there. Everyone sees you introducing people to each other, helping them make new connections. At this point is when you realllllllly start to run game. isolate to the dance floor, and you know what to do from there.

2010-10-09T04:43:30+00:00

I usually go to clubs with a group of friends. Once there I do the pleasantries and go survey the property. I talk to girls and see what's going on. After a few rounds I go back to my friends and chill with them. It is a good cycle because I am not built for 4 hours of continuous sarging.

andrewsmith1986 · 2010-10-08T21:51:56+00:00

I'm glad you took my advice.

Stick around, you'll learn things.

CunningDingus · 2010-10-08T23:32:25+00:00

I got into club promotion so I could do this. Always have people to meet. I've written something up in the past about this: http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/dlrgj/race_and_seduction/c118hqs .

If there isn't that option, make friends in the line for the club. Don't say you've come alone, make up a story about how you're there for an acquaintance's birthday, but looking to bounce as soon as possible (everyone has been there and can relate to it).

This is probably terrible advice, but start social smoking. Carry cigarettes but no lighter. It's a great way to meet people. I pick up every week in the smoker's den.

How to go to the clubs alone (meet women, etc.)

Comments

2 is Gold, my friend. I've been using that frame for about a month now and it hasn't let me down except when I've forgotten about it.

Title	How to go to the clubs alone (meet women, etc.)
Author	JD0056
Upvotes	34
Comments	26
Date	October 8, 2010 8:54 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/doqcu/how_to_go_to_the_clubs_alone_meet_women_etc/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-go-to-the-clubs-alone-meet-women-etc.1312195 https://theredarchive.com/post/1312195