She canceled right before the first date. Now what?

cinemashow · 2010-11-04T05:32:01+00:00

fear tells you shes blowing you off. you don't know that for sure. intuition bah. your ego will tell you to run. the facts show that you don't know anything just yet. i recommend you give it 24 hours and set up another date for at least a few days from then.

jackwripper · 2010-11-04T10:27:08+00:00

I have been in this situation before. A couple of times. Both times I gave the woman a second chance with a second date... both cases the women ditched me the second time as well.

Now this was before the interwebs... Both cases worked out for me because through complete fluke, within a few days of both second dates being canceled, I ended up screwing a good friend of the women who ditched me. In both cases, the women were very upset and told me they felt cheated because they really were interested. Note... women like this are only interested once they have no chance with you. No woman ditches you twice in a row if she is interested in you. The odds are infinitesimal that she had two emergencies within a week to deal with.

One of these women was so upset I would not ask her out a third time, that she ended up screwing my younger brother, and then moving in with him for a couple of years. It did not work out for her though... since when I broke up with her friend, she had to side with her GF. Not to mention the fact that I had no interest in her, and I had two other women fighting over me by then. Don't worry, I had my way with both of them in time... My sex life was very twisted now I think about it.

cheddarchexmix · 2010-11-04T21:26:20+00:00

I just posted a FR where the girl canceled about an hour before the first date, but did come out for a second date. It has the texts I used to make it happen, it may help you. http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/e1dn0/fr_weird_texting_interaction_turned_out_fine/

2010-11-05T00:38:57+00:00

Me: :(

Me: No that's ok

When I read this I imagine a guy making a sad puppy face. Then he forces a smile and says "that's OK" passively.

OP, you say she's funny. She said something kinda funny, you should at least say something playful in return.

Did you read the small print when you made a reservation with me? There's a cancellation fee of X. (where X is up to you, maybe related to something you've talked about)

This is just what came up to my mind now. Anything is better than looking desperate and passive.

In any case you should be already talking to other girls. Don't get too hung up on a girl you haven't even met yet.

onlinedatingscum · 2010-11-04T05:32:14+00:00

TL;DR: She canceled right before the first date. Now what?

Honestly looking for advice here. Thanks for the help. And, I genuinely want to date this girl. She seems special.

aepr88 · 2010-11-04T09:08:13+00:00

First off, maybe she really had something to do that day. You shouldn't have used the unhappy face though. It makes you comes off desperate.

Just play it off cool, but let her know that this kinda action is not acceptable: "It is ok, but you should have told me this earlier. You clearly didn't respect my time." That is verbatim of what I said the girl when she flaked on me right before our meet. She kept saying sorry and set up the next meet-up the next day.

You don't have to react exactly the way I did. I actually prefer you not to because every girl is different. But you must maintain the frame that your time is valuable and canceling right before the date is unacceptable.

RedErin · 2010-11-04T16:26:12+00:00

The correct response should have been "Yes, and Yes."

vrrrr · 2010-11-04T16:27:31+00:00

Not to be a dick here, but why did you link to your blog?

Anyway, what I would do is just say fine, and reschedule. What else is there to do? If she's interested, she will come through. Otherwise, move on.

2010-11-05T21:45:14+00:00

Have some self respect and move on.

If she calls with an explanation, and wants to try again, go for it, but don't grovel after her.

Title	She canceled right before the first date. Now what?
Author	onlinedatingscum
Upvotes	0
Comments	22
Date	November 4, 2010 5:22 AM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/e10rq/she_canceled_right_before_the_first_date_now_what/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/she-canceled-right-before-the-first-date-now-what.1312733 https://theredarchive.com/post/1312733

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