(Thought this would be interesting given the recent threads on shit tests)

So last night I went to a party and got a number and an f-close, with almost completely no effort, which was weird. Here's how it went down, and why I think it happened.

The passive #-close:

Basically, I chatted up this really freaking cute shorthaired girl (HB6ish for most of you, but HB8 to me) for a bit, and then stopped after I figured out she was taken. I didn't stop on a dime – I gave her an honest compliment on her appearance while she was sitting on her BF's lap, as a sort of experiment in not being intimidated by other guys – but I wasn't trying to pick her up anymore. Next.

And then I experienced this "problem" that I have (e.g. in my first cold approach FR), of meeting a guy who does something I find really interesting (usually science-related), and geeking out so hard I forget about seducing the ladies. I start talking to this science grad student, and we talk for hours, almost the entire rest of the party, with pretty minimal breaks and interactions with other people.

I put "problem" in scare quotes because this is actually a natural way of implementing a number of pickup ideas – having a good time first of all, not seeking approval from girls, and letting them seek me and wish I was talking to them instead, as well as demonstrating that I have other interests and friends. Considering that I had made the rounds a bit before I got sucked into this science conversation, it may have been an (unintentionally) good move from a pickup point of view.

I say that to explain an otherwise hard to explain thing that happened next – the shorthaired girl comes over to me, interrupts, and asks to give me her number. I take it, and go back to my conversation. Eventually I ask, totally nonchalantly, and in front of other people nearby (that may have been tactless on my part), "So why exactly are you giving me your number? Aren't you with that guy?" She's like, "Yes, but it's complicated, my friend will explain," and walks away. Her friend (who I've been talking to for a bit) explains that it's a sort of ambiguous situation between those two, so I wouldn't be a scumbag if I hit on her, in so many words. Sweeeet!

The mostly passive f-close:

So then I go back to talking science, until towards the end of the party, I somehow end up with a two set of girls, a HB5 and an HB7 – neither really my ideal type, but the HB7 is cute. I was too drunk to recall the exact sequence of events, but somehow they are discussing how they're getting home, and either the HB7 or I suggest that she crashes at my place, because I live nearby, and she really doesn't.

It's hard to know whether pickup played any role here at all – she might have just wanted to go home with someone, and felt I was the most attractive male remaining at the party by this point (almost everyone had left). Or the same kind of dynamic I hypothesized above may have been in play here too. Regardless, she comes home with me, officially just to crash, but then we finish a bottle of wine in my room and start making out. And here's where it gets interesting.

Basically, this is only the third girl I've taken home the same night I met her. So this is new territory for me. Girls I've slept with in the past have generally been gfs or at least people I had otherwise established a significant degree of comfort and connection with, and the sex was never particularly awkward. But this girl was... simultaneously sharing her insecurities (e.g. body image) and giving me this constant, low-level barrage of shit tests, or at least a shit-test sort of background attitude. It was kind of a pain in the ass, but also kind of exhilarating, having to be on my toes.

[Sidenote: I felt like there was a distinction to be made between the insecurities and the shit tests – the right response to the former being comfort building, and the right response to the latter being "don't fail the shit test." So, for example, at several points she talked down her boob size, and it didn't feel like a shit test so much as a candid voicing of her insecurities, so I would tell her they were actually pretty decent. Similarly, she expressed several times the worry that I wouldn't call her after we hooked up tonight, as a form of LMR (and then, post facto resistance). Again, this didn't feel like a shit test where I should say something witty, but a moment where I should say, "Don't worry, I do plan on calling you." I suppose I could've made it funny though by adding something like, "...as long as you don't ____." Question: Am I way off base here? Would you have handled these questions differently?]

That said, there were a ton of straight up shit tests. I was too drunk (and unprepared for it) that I can't remember many of them, though overall I think my cocky/funny/I-don't-give-a-shit attitude carried me through. But here's a couple:

  • She kept saying, "You're funny." As in, odd, basically. I am odd, so the first few instances didn't bother me, but eventually I felt like I needed to put a stop to it. So I remembered her anxiety about me not calling her, and said, "If you call me funny again, I'm not going to call you," and she didn't do it after that. Not the most creative response, and a tad beta, but basically alpha in its assertiveness.

  • In the morning she was about the walk to the bathroom wearing only a towel, and asked, "Are your roommates used to seeing girls walk through like this?" Basically a variation of the player accusation. So I say, "Yeah, every day, and twice on Sunday."

Sorry I don't have more examples. The point isn't so much specific tests, as the weird experience of being with a girl who had the sarcasm and witty banter knobs turned up to 11 even while we were in bed. Next time we hang out I'm going to have to bring my A-1 game and not let her get away with it as much.

Bonus: PPP the morning after

So in the morning, as she's getting ready to leave, I decide I need to finally give TofuTofu's thang a whirl, about three rounds of it. It was fucking awesome. She was punching me, giggling, and I think very confused. A+++++++ WILL TRY AGAIN