[Online FR] Ongoing OKC Message

2011-06-03T15:10:07+00:00

I usually hate to say anything negative but, wow. Your messages are long-winded, pretentious and weird. I guess some women go for grandiloquence but this girl doesn't seem to be buying what you're selling. The final message "Good to know before hand for sure" is pretty much a conversation dead-end. I don't blame her. Your description of how your going to weirdly freak out if she smokes up with you is strange, to say the least.

For online communication (and texting): KISS. Maybe add another S for "short". If you are going to be descriptive about what you are going to do together, make sure it is something she would actually want to participate in.

intjpua · 2011-06-03T14:41:31+00:00

You talk too much. She says two sentences, you reply with a novel. You're way more invested in the outcome than she is, and thus demonstrating lower value. You start off strong (with a subtle neg, even), but once she turns her attention your way, you start bouncing around like an excited puppy. No challenge, just boring question and answer. It's easy to fall prey to that kind of thing, if writing is what you're good at...but you need to fight it. It won't serve you well on OKC.

That said, this may have gone better with a different girl. This one doesn't seem interested, even though she keeps responding. I'd probably wait a while before messaging her again (you've been doing rapid fire messaging back and forth, and talking a lot more than her; she probably enjoys the flattery, even if she doesn't want to date you).

Also, if you can escalate to a better medium quickly, that's probably wise, as it's hard to flirt via email. I don't really do OKC, since my results there tend to suck compared to real life, but when I have had good results, I've escalated to chat soon after the first or second email, and then escalated to a phone number exchange.

frogma · 2011-06-03T15:12:27+00:00

Like these guys said, it's a little much. I could be an English major too if I took some more classes, but this is not how I chat with girls. Your stories/comments were witty and shit, but it's obvious that you're trying to impress her with your storytelling abilities. I'd save that kind of shit for face-to-face convos.

A better approach to OKC- though I don't use OKC- would be to care a lot less. Let her be the one to tell you Mario stories and shit, while you sit back and contemplate if she's worthy of your attention. Keep the talk short and to the point. All I see here is you becoming the "guy who likes weed and Mario" as opposed to the "guy I'd like to fuck."

Generally- and especially with text convos- you want to flip the script on the girl. Take a lesson from this girl. She holds all the value, so she's not trying to impress you. Her responses are short- almost arbitrary.

Once you've started the convo- with whatever "opener" you use- say something like "Tell me about yourself." She'll comply and start to qualify herself. It plants the seed in her mind where she's thinking "Okay, I need to keep this guy on the hook now" instead of the other way around. Once you've got that frame, the rest is cake.

You can still be witty and shit, but keep it short. The longer it is, the less value you have (not always, but generally).

Edit: Here's a metaphor that works for most situations: She's like a dog owner, and you're the yellow lab. She's got a tennis ball, and you're sitting there, staring intently at her, panting your ass off and drooling like a fiend. So basically out of pity, she tosses the ball. You chase it like Wile E Coyote, grab it, and bring it back. Since you're her dog, she's thinking "Damn, I'd rather be doing something else with my time, but I guess I'll throw this ball again." So she throws it again, you chase it again, and the cycle continues until one of you gets tired of it. You're a red-blooded American dog; you can go all day. She'll get tired of it and leave. Stop being the dog, and become the owner.

rkg-pua · 2011-06-03T14:39:03+00:00

you are building comfort before attraction. typically, lengthy first messages come off as needy/desperate even if your intent is too be casual and flirty. your internet robot line was fine, but the super mario dialogue was way too long/boring. keep the first few messages on okc short, witty, and fun until you set up the date.

yokhai · 2011-06-03T14:50:13+00:00

are you the grey? sending the super long as messages while the girls responds with short quips?

STOP DOING THAT!

You should mirror her in the way she talks. You aren't trying to show your soul on here, just enough leg to make her want to hump it.

After reading that last exchange, it looks like you might have lost this one. Stop talking so much.

puaCurveBall · 2011-06-03T22:16:01+00:00

God, so much wrong, I think you would scare off so many girls with that.

First off, having a vocabulary is a good thing, but use it sparingly. It sounds like you are putting way too much effort in, and might be awkward in person.

Secondly, length. Match their length. If she feels like she only needs to respond with a single sentence without a question, then that is a gauge to her interest in you.

Thirdly, take a hint and call her out if she isn't responding with much. She responds with 2 sentences and no obvious hook to keep talking(a solid sign of lack of interest), and then you say "That sounds like a solid outing for us". that tells her you don't have a clue when it comes to girls interests. If you had called her out on needing to send better messages, or just responded with something equally short and non-leading, she would know you can read women and expect better conversation.

Overall, you are getting way too invested in a potential meetup when she hasn't shown any value. If your frame is "I'm busy but I'll give you an hour to prove yourself" then you are much more likely to get a date than sending pages of overly verbose prose.

fightingfor20 · 2011-06-03T15:03:12+00:00

thanks for the input, all. I had a feeling the talking too much was a problem.

Regardless, though, sometimes I intentionally keep my tongue cut short, and it just doesn't work. This one was an example of me deciding to unhinge my jaw for experimentation. Usually I am significantly more reserved, this time I was

I guess I just need more OKC experience so I learn what works for me?

Anyway, thanks again.

the_kitten · 2011-06-03T15:32:01+00:00

You are doing fine, but you need to ISOLATE. Ask her for her gchat address. Escalate from there.

heresmokethis · 2011-06-03T15:21:38+00:00

Haha, you're super funny! But what the hell did she do to deserve all that funniness. Give it to her a little bit at a time.

rhyolite · 2011-06-03T15:52:42+00:00

I am an English major,

Haha, this is the first time I've heard of something useful you can do with an English major.

chumpta · 2011-06-03T16:09:30+00:00

I just started on OKC too. The problem I am coming across is how to "escalate." It appears that many of these girls are just there to casually chat and not meet up, or whatever. I think good calibration is going to wind up with a way different timeline than calibration IRL.

your first exchange is definitely better. Honestly, do you have any tips for getting #'s from convos that ARE going well? lol

Title	[Online FR] Ongoing OKC Message
Author	fightingfor20
Upvotes	3
Comments	22
Date	June 3, 2011 2:21 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/hqslo/online_fr_ongoing_okc_message/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/online-fr-ongoing-okc-message.1318947 https://theredarchive.com/post/1318947

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